


The Things We Do

by thememoriesofaqueen



Category: The Originals (TV), The Vampire Diaries & Related Fandoms, The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Romance, Drama, F/M, Family Feels, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 21:07:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 39,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30061545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thememoriesofaqueen/pseuds/thememoriesofaqueen
Summary: During the fight with Elena, Katherine managed to flee after noticing Elena's intentions to use the Cure on her. Because of a misunderstanding about the whereabouts of the Cure, Elijah seeks out Katherine. Kalijah / Set After Season 4 / Katherine is still a vampire / This is an old story of mine I decided to upload
Relationships: Elijah Mikaelson & Katherine Pierce, Elijah Mikaelson/Katherine Pierce
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Post-TVD 4x23, no cured Katherine.
> 
> Please note that this is an old story of mine I decided to upload on here too. I won't do much editing of the original draft and I know the writing style is different from my current story (because it's an old story and was actually the first fanfiction I ever wrote).
> 
> My current active story is 'In Another Life.'
> 
> English is not my first language  
> I do not own anything of the TVD - Universe and I'm not affiliated or associated with the writers etc. This is only a story.
> 
> Summary: During the fight with Elena, Katherine managed to flee after noticing Elena's intentions to use the Cure on her. Because of a misunderstanding about the whereabouts of the Cure, Elijah seeks out Katherine.
> 
> Pairing: Kalijah ( Katherine / Elijah )
> 
> TW: mentions violence, excessive alcohol consumption

It's been two days since Katherine left the worst town ever. She felt defeated and betrayed and if someone would ask her what she'd like to do then she'd answer that she would like to see Mystic Falls go up in flames. Two days ago her clothes had been torn, she was bloody and dirty and longed for a shower. A long and warm shower. It took a while until she could get said shower since she left town and had to drive two hours until she was in her new lodging far away from Mystic Falls. Katherine hadn't thought that Elena would be a big match, but apparently, her stupid doppelgänger had some hidden energy when being angered. The brunette hadn't expected that the cure was with Elena and she was willing to use it on her. If anything, Elena was the last person on earth who would have wanted to waste the cure on her but apparently being dead wasn't as nice as becoming human again - shame!

A dead Elena could have solved all her problems and it would have been an act of perfect revenge. Ripping everything from her what she had. Killing her without anyone to help her. Her friends, family, and lover being left behind with no chance to say goodbye. That would have been the ending Elena deserved, it is long overdue.

* * *

But instead, it was always Katherine who was left with nothing. Who had to pay for everything. There was never a knight in golden armor who wanted to protect her at any cost, no luck or happiness. She didn't get her Silas-like immortality which could have protected her from all her enemies. Additionally, the happiness she has had was taken by Elena, she scared away the only person who still cared for her. The only person who didn't think of her as a cold-blooded, manipulative bitch.

It's been unexpected that her alliance with Elijah turned into something more, something romantic. She had to admit that she has held some kind of affection for him when she was still human, but the affection turned into fear after discovering what he and his brother really wanted. She feared him for five hundred years and yet there was a small part within her which also held a good memory of him. She has always felt safe in his presence back in England. He was the one who spent time with her when she was alone, who made her smile and let her play her little chase games. He was the one who showed a genuine interest in her, her views, her option. Nevertheless, he didn't stop his brother's madness.

When he showed up while she was held in the tomb, she was scared, though. She knew that he was very well capable of killing her, of presenting her as a gift to his brother. She was frightened as hell, as she has never been so close to a Mikaelson that they could actually see her. She was convinced that he was coming for her, ending her one way or the other, even though she tried her best not to show her feelings, her fear. In the end, she ended up being compelled by him and being left alone to rot until Klaus came for her.

After she achieved her release, however, she hadn't seen Elijah for awhile. She had other problems to deal with, notably Klaus. She was convinced to never see her freedom again as she seemed to be Klaus's favorite prisoner and toy thing. She kinda expected to die a slow death. Fortunately, she was lucky enough to escape and go on the run again.

It was only after discovering the myth of the cure and the knowledge that the cure was real, that she tried to contact Elijah. It was a calculated plan because she knew how close he's to his family, that he'd never let something happen to them if he had the chance to prevent it. She knew that there were many people who would use the cure on Klaus or his family. She knew that if she could get a grab on the cure, she'd have a good chance to make a deal with the devil himself and for that, she needed someone Klaus would listen to. If she did it by herself, Klaus would probably kill her / make her his prisoner again before ripping the cure from her hands.

It took some time until the messenger she had sent was successful. Katherine was too afraid to meet the Original before making a deal with him, so she just waited until he decided to call her. That was the safest thing to do. She was nervous when her phone finally started to ring with an unknown number shown on her screen. His factual voice as he addressed her by her birth name, made her heart skip a beat - even though it was probably because of her frayed nerves.

Nevertheless, she managed to make a deal and even agreed to meet him. At first, she felt uncomfortable, her instincts being on alert. She was ready to run if she had to but instead he was very polite. He didn't attempt to treat her like he did back in the tomb. They met a few times to discuss things. It didn't take long until she trusted him - at least as far as he wouldn't break the deal and deliver her to Klaus. She felt safe within his presence, she didn't have to pretend to be a cold person who doesn't care about anything. She could let her guard down around him because he remembered who she was when they first met. He believed in her and they started to spend more and more time together. And surprising enough, Elijah changed too. He wasn't as stiff as before, he smiled more and relaxed when they were together.

They could have been happy after she traded the cure for her freedom. She was even okay with keeping her relationship a secret and seeing him just every few weeks. She would have done everything for happiness. To be finally happy and loved by someone who cared for her.

Katherine really believed that they could have had a happy ending.

But Elena destroyed everything. Elena turned Elijah against her. She didn't even know what she had said to him, she couldn't find out. He didn't trust her anymore, no matter what she said or what she'd assure. He didn't believe her anymore. Elena ripped her chance of happiness away. Elena should be the one who is suffering, not her. Elijah left her, despite giving him the cure without something in return, despite her pleas. He didn't want to see her anymore.

* * *

It was the second morning after her failure and she still wasn't over it. Which was odd, because Katherine was the kind of person who always looks forward. She stepped outside of the shower, wrapping a towel around her delicate body. When she looked in the mirror, she recalled Elena's words:

_Is she really the definition of damaged goods? Is she not worthy of love? Did she not deserve happiness? Because she's a self-obsessed egomaniac? Apparently, that is the truth. Why would anyone love someone like her? A liar? Someone who loves herself enough to not care about the opinions of others? Someone who wanted to have a life, no matter what they have to do in order to get it?_

She growled, turning away from the mirror and looking for something to wear. After she was dressed, she searched for a new bottle of bourbon, after most of her stock was already empty the minute she moved in. Fortunately, she found one bottle and took a big sip of it, not caring if she was drunk again. It was better than being miserable after being dumped and failed to take revenge on Elena. Oh, and definitely better than being reminded of being tricked into believing that she could actually be free from her sorrows. She didn't care if she was wasted, she didn't care if she'd have alcoholic poisoning - which was hard for a vampire anyway.

It's unnatural for her to suffer from heartbreak. She's been there before. It's not the first time she was dumped and left unwanted. No, it was because she was so close to being truly happy. To be free and loved. She deserved it after five hundred years. But she was just a broken, unwanted thing... _nothing worth loving._

Her grip around the bottleneck got tighter as she felt she couldn't control herself anymore. The alcohol made her dizzy, which was a comfortable feeling. Better than having a headache from not wanting to cry.

* * *

The next day was just slightly better. She still felt the rage within her, but at least her mind was clear. She showered and got dressed because even though she was still suffering, she held enough self-respect to care for her appearance. Yesterday was just too much and she realized she had to control herself before the rage gets her killed. She still wanted revenge though. She even made some more plans before a knocking caught her attention. Katherine didn't expect someone, it was probably just a neighbor who wanted to complain about something. Probably because of yesterday's noise, she might have broken a bottle or two.

She opened the door obviously annoyed and wanted to leave some bitchy comment when she noticed her counterpart. Expensive suit, hands in his pockets, an inscrutable look.

"Katerina, a word, please?"


	2. Chapter 2

„Elijah"

Katherine's voice was surprised, she didn't expect him to show up, she didn't want to see him nor anyone from the town she had just fled. To be honest, she wanted to slam the door shut and be left alone.

„I'm not sure if I have time for a talk, I'm quite busy these days." a lie, but everything was welcomed to avoid talking to him.

Unfortunately, he didn't seem to give up on whatever his intention was for coming here. It almost seemed like he was surprised she turned down the opportunity to have a chat, but there was something more in his eyes.

„You seem to be doing fine" he wasn't asking, it was a statement. He seemed to ignore her words of having no time, which made her angry. Even though she could detect a hint of concern in his voice, which was weird.

„Why would you care? It's none of your business anymore. Go spend your time worrying and gushing over Klaus and leave me the hell alone." she snapped, her voice rose a tiny bit while brown eyes were glaring at him.

* * *

She knew it was dangerous to turn down an Original like this. He wasn't a man to play with. She wasn't just angry but also a bit afraid. Whatever the reason for searching her and tracking her down was, it must have been something important. Katherine was just not sure if he came here to merely talk to her or to kill her.

She wouldn't even exclude the option of him wanting to end her, as she knew what he was capable of. She knew that he didn't approve of her supposed betrayal and she knew about his brother's wrath and hate towards her. He had all the reasons for killing her because she was a loose end for both him and Klaus.

Nevertheless, she wouldn't choose death even if she wasn't doing well at the moment. No matter how many times she's getting turned down, be left, or knowing that she isn't wanted: A heartbreak and failure would never result in a death wish.

„Goodbye Elijah", and with that, she slammed the door shut. Or at least she wanted to do that.

Before she could close the door, however, she was stopped from doing so. Searching for the reason, she found his foot in the doorway and before she could do anything, he made his way into her current apartment.

„Perhaps I expressed myself wrong, I wasn't asking for a word", his determinate voice made her swallow and she stumbled a few steps back. She desperately searched for a way to escape, to run, but the only option was the door he was standing in front of and which was closed by him now.

The brunette opened her mouth, but before she could say anything he spoke again.

„I just want to know why, Katerina. Why did you do it?"

His words came unexpected and were confusing.

„Why did I do what?" she asked, unsure of what he's referring to. She knew that she has to be extremely cautious as long as she didn't know for sure why he even came here.

„Why did you search for an open confrontation, attack Elena, and tried to end her life? Your hatred for your doppelgänger is known, but you never chose such a direct, offensive way and risked getting yourself killed before. Why?" He sounded interested and yet his voice was soaked with disapproval of her actions.

The fear she felt before was gone for a short time, instead, she felt the rage swelling up within her. She could laugh at his odd question and that is exactly what she did: She laughed.

„Of course it is about Elena", Katherine spitted the name out, „everything is about sweet, little, precious Elena. It's true, I tried to kill her. I would have enjoyed nothing more than seeing her go to the other side because of me. Oh, what pleasure would have it been to watch the light in her eyes slowly fading away."

Katherine made a pause and watched Elijah carefully. The suit he was wearing was of a deep blue color and was sitting flawlessly. He always looked like the perfect gentleman and yet she was afraid of what he's going to do to her.

„Now what? How are you going to do it? Will it be quick and painless? Are you going to rip my heart out? Oh, that's depending on if I even have a heart as I'm nothing more than a heartless monster, am I right? So, what is it going to be, hm?" Her voice was strong, she hid the fact she was afraid. She was afraid of dying. She was afraid of being killed by the one she once loved. On the other hand, she wasn't considered loveable anyway, so it wouldn't matter. It would just add a tragic poetic to her end.

Perhaps that's why she noticed every one of his following movements as if she were watching a slow-motion movie. She noticed every detail of his following actions. The way his mouth opened and closed again, the way he frowned, and the way his eyes seemed to dig into hers as if he was searching for something.

Taking a few steps towards her, she resisted the urge to increase the distance between them.

„Why are you thinking I was searching for you to end your life?"

„Why wouldn't you? You left me, remember? Why would you search for me after you made your choice? After you somehow found out what happened in Mystic Falls after your departure? Don't try to fool me, Elijah. I know of Elena's impact and I know that you care for her well-being. Actually, you seem to care for her more than you did for me, hell, you even trust her more than you trust me."

Katherine knew that she was right. If it wasn't for Elena, he wouldn't have left her, he would not have said he doesn't know her, that he doesn't trust her anymore. Besides that, killing her wouldn't be absurd. He helped to get her killed 500 years ago, he tried to hunt her down for half of a millennium after all.

„Perhaps she was right, you are better off without me and now you have the perfect excuse to once and for all erase me from your life. So do it and be quick"

When he found out that she killed Jeremy, he accused her of betrayal, of lying to him, and dumped her in the process, removing her from his life. Now, what would he do after he found out that she tried to kill precious snowflake Elena? What is worse than being removed? It's being _**erased.**_

She watched him narrowing his eyes as if something made 'click'. That was the moment she knew that _he_ knew what he has to do. When he slowly approached her, Katherine closed her eyes. She didn't want to see it. Taking one last shaky breath, she waited.

Nothing happened. She didn't feel any pain. Was it already over? She blinked, then opened her eyes only to look him straight in the eyes. His eyes were cold, his expression angry. The silence was devasting, she could hear her own raised heartbeat until his voice filled the room.

„What exactly did Elena say to you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading this story. Again, it's an old story of mine and the first fanfiction I ever wrote, hence the flaws and the different style of writing as I won't do much editing of the original draft. I'm going to upload the rest in the next few days. I still hope you'll enjoy it


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This Chapter is in Elijah's POV and mirrors Chapter 2.

He had closed the Katerina-chapter the moment he had said goodbye to her.

The past had shown that she was unpredictable, which he per se enjoyed. Katerina is a storm, a force of energy. When he was with her, he was just Elijah. He was free of the troubles caused by his family. She was refreshing and every moment he got to spend the day with her, he felt truly alive.

When they were alone he could see a glimpse of the person he met hundreds of years ago and he knew that his Katerina actually still existed beneath her Katherine facade.

He believed her feelings towards him were genuine, her intentions pure. After talking with Elena however, he had to question every word. She lied to him and fooled him.

Perhaps he should have seen it coming. Perhaps he was a fool to believe that Katerina still existed. Perhaps she only tricked him into believing so.

Katherine didn't mind offering her soul to get the things she wants. She showed no empathy towards her own doppelgänger and killed Elena's brother without any remorse, though she should know what it is like to lose the entire family. It doesn't matter what she has to do, as long as she survives.

* * *

At this point, Elijah started to wonder if that is what he is to her too. Just a means of survival, another man to seduce and use. He wanted to believe her words, he remembered the time they've spent together, her lovely laugher, and the way she began to open up to him. It had felt real and that was what startled him.

He thought he could trust her, that they were honest with each other. He thought he knew about what she has done, he thought he knew _her._ Yet she managed to fool him and he didn't even notice it. _Was he so blinded by love?_ Has he been such an easy target to fell for the lies by the woman who was known to be manipulative?

He couldn't trust her anymore, he couldn't let someone fool him. He was no man to be played with.

He had to draw conclusions from that and chose to left.

Elijah has paid attention that he didn't think about Katherine anymore after heading to New Orleans to meet with the witches and by doing so finding out about the werewolf pregnant with Niklaus' child. It was always his family who held his highest priority. He knew that this child could be the thing his family has hoped for a thousand years. Maybe this child, merely a fetus, was able to bring his family the redemption they sought.

He spent days in New Orleans, trying to convince Niklaus that family is not a weakness, but a power. That he wasn't going to fight for their former home alone.

His stay in New Orleans made demands on his time, he hadn't a minute to rest with different wars going on, furthermore protecting Hayley too.

It only changed due to a phone conversation with Rebekah, who talked about the graduation in Mystic Falls and how she planned on spending the summer with the Donovan boy. She mentioned that the cure was in Elena's possession and that Miss Gilbert was involved in a bad fight with Katherine, fearing that the cure hasn't survived and was gone forever.

Under different circumstances he would have been relieved to know the cure to be gone, believing that being cured wouldn't solve his sister's sorrows. In addition, he couldn't bear the thought of losing his sister, even though it is fairish selfish thinking.

Nevertheless, it caught his attention that Katerina apparently fought Elena out of the blue and disappeared right afterward. Normally, he wouldn't be concerned. Katherine is known for being able to look out for herself, she knows how to survive. Moreover, he chose to close that chapter.

The thing which struck him – despite his disapproval of her actions – was that Katherine wasn't one to get involved in a fight directly, she was a subtle person, letting her minions do the dirty work. One of the reasons she was so hard to track down.

Something was off and because of that, he couldn't remove her from his thoughts. She clearly had her motives, a plan. Katherine is a calculating person, she wouldn't do anything without a greater cause. The more he thought about it, the more his concerns grew.

The only reliable reason for Katherine to do the things she did was to get the cure back. She obviously wouldn't want to use it on herself, making the only motivation to use the cure on _someone else._

He knew of her original plan to exchange the cure for her freedom and in doing so, she needed him. But right now, she couldn't use him. There was no one to make a deal with Niklaus, which meant that she wasn't going to make a deal but instead use the cure against his family.

He stood up from his desk, grabbing his jacket. He had to find a witch.

Despite being in reach of a coven of witches, he decided to consult a witch in Atlanta, asking her to do a locator spell on Katherine Pierce. It was better to keep any Katherine-related topic out of New Orleans. Unfortunately, his fear of having no luck in locating her was confirmed as true. Katherine had witches of her own working for her, cloaking her.

He could have asked the witch in doing a locator spell on the cure to find out where it was or if it still existed, but he decided against it. The knowledge of a cure for erasing vampirism was limited and it was better that it stayed that way.

Now having nothing which was auspicious, he decided to change his strategy. He knew she wouldn't be anywhere near Mystic Falls nor New Orleans, but she would choose a place within reach if she really wanted to use the cure against his family. She preferred small towns but didn't like isolated areas.

But even with those pieces of information, there were a thousand places where she could possibly hide.

Finding Katerina had never been easy. He wasn't able in doing so, that's why she was able to successfully escape for 500 years. It was fortunate she fell into his hands years ago and the last time it was herself who had contacted him.

He remembered the first time he spoke to her after leaving her in the tomb while he thought about how he ended in the mess he was in now. It was an unknown number calling him, he didn't even know where she got his phone number until today. Recalling his memories, he got an idea. While not having luck in locating her via a spell, he was able to track her cellphone, for having saved her number. He thought about deleting it, but he decided against it. It turns out he made a wise choice.

Now he wouldn't call himself being into technology, so he had a little help which thankfully was successful. Just one and a half driving hour later, he found himself in front of an apartment.

He didn't have to prepare for what he was about to do. He stopped conspiracies before. And right now it was more important than ever to end a conspiracy before it started and which could threaten his family. Even though he tended on ending a conspiracy quick and be over with it, he intended to talk to her first. After all, he had no evidence, just an assumption.

He knocked politely, waiting for her to open the door, his hands in the pocket. He believed he didn't have to prepare himself before, but he was wrong. He should have prepared himself now, making sure that he wasn't played by her again.

When she opened the door, he was tempted to smile. Katerina has always been a beauty and he could drown in her chocolate brown eyes. He had always shared a special connection with her, but right now he couldn't allow any feelings. Neither good nor bad. Therefore his expression remained serious.

She didn't look too happy to see him, though. However, her reaction was understandable as he made it clear that their relationship was over. He left and he didn't intend to come back or see her again.

"Katerina, a word, please?" his voice was polite, calm. He planned to call her by the name she chose, but his mouth was faster than his mind.

"Elijah." she clearly was caught off guard, but it only lasted a second, "I'm not sure if I have time for a talk, I'm quite busy these days."

Despite being turned down, he didn't intend to leave. He watched her instead, being a little bit relieved that she didn't seem to be affected by the fight with Elena a few days ago. From what he has heard, it was a bloody one, ending with a cure being lost and Katherine being gone.

He admitted that he hadn't thought about option b), the possibility of Katherine becoming human. It would have had the same effects: The cure is nowhere to be found and a human Katherine would try to hide. It would have been possible, but absurd. Katherine was way older than Elena, stronger and more skilled. He couldn't imagine her being force-fed the cure.

„You seem to be doing fine" he was trying to express his relief that she was still a vampire, knowing how much she is depending on her strength and independence.

„Why would you care? It's none of your business anymore. Go spend your time worrying and gushing over Klaus and leave me the hell alone. Goodbye Elijah"

He narrowed his eyes and tried to ignore the lack of respect. Usually, he would never allow someone to talk to him like that. However, their relationship was complicated. It appeared she was not only angry because of the disturbance, but she was also angry with him which surprised him. Perhaps him leaving her hit her harder than he thought. On the other hand, she might be just angry because he didn't stay and make a deal for her.

She attempted to close the door rather spirited, but he was quicker, entering the apartment. He came here for a reason and he would do what he came for.

"Perhaps I expressed myself wrong, I wasn't asking for a word" his voice calm, but with a sharp undertone. He won't be fooled by her again. „I just want to know why, Katerina. Why did you do it?" He asked directly, not interested in any small talk. He wanted to know what happened, why she acted so different. He wanted to know if she stole the cure to use it against him, against his family. He wanted to know if she's a danger and needed to be taken care of.

„Why did I do what?" Katherine sounded truly confused and he caught himself falling for it, he _wanted_ to believe her. Yet he couldn't trust her. She has been lying before, she tricked him before.

„Why did you searched for an open confrontation, attack Elena, and tried to end her life? Your hatred for your doppelgänger is known, but you never chose such a direct, offensive way and risked getting yourself killed before. Why?"

Despite his disapproval of her attack on Elena, he hoped she wouldn't say anything about the cure or how she's planning on using it on Niklaus. He hoped that his feeling, his assumption was wrong. He watched her very carefully, absorbing every detail, every movement. He had to make sure she isn't going to lie to him.

„Of course it is about Elena, everything is about sweet, little, precious Elena. It's true, I tried to kill her. I would have enjoyed nothing more than seeing her go to the Other Side because of me. Oh, what pleasure it would have been to watch the light in her eyes slowly fading away."

Her words surprised him. He feared she would mention the cure, why she needs it to gain her freedom. But none of them. In fact, she was quite emotional, which wasn't a thing seen often in the person she is now. But most striking was the look in her deep brown eyes. She wasn't only angry with him, she was _afraid._

She wasn't playing him, he knew for sure. It was not only the look in her eyes or the way she tried to hide her nervousness, it was also the way her heart was pounding.

„Now what? How are you going to do it? Will it be quick and painless? Are you going to rip my heart out? Oh, that's depending on if I even have a heart as I'm nothing more than a heartless monster, am I right? So, what is it going to be, hm?"

Her words left him puzzled, he tried to reply but no words left his lips. Why would she be thinking that he's going to end her life? Was she planning to conspire? In case she did, she should be afraid. Yet her words weren't conclusive. In case she was plotting against his family she would never think of herself as a heartless monster. She never did before.

Taking a few steps towards her, he noticed how uncomfortable she got so he stopped.

„Why are you thinking I was searching for you to end your life?" he asked, trying to find out what has gotten into her. He has to admit, he probably isn't able to kill her. It was a weakness, but he couldn't bear the thought of her dying at his hands. Nevertheless, he had no problem with punishing her another way, compelling her as he did years ago if that needed to be done.

„Why wouldn't you? You left me, remember? Why would you search for me after you made your choice? After you somehow found out what happened in Mystic Falls after your departure? Don't try to fool me, Elijah. I know of Elena's impact and I know that you care for her well-being. Actually, you seem to care for her more than you did for me, hell, you even trust her more than me. Perhaps she was right, you are better off without me and now you have the perfect excuse to once and for all erase me from your life. So do it and be quick"

It was only then when he realized what was off about her behavior, about her fighting Elena in such an offensive way. It was never about the cure or about getting revenge on his family, about conspiring. He was certain she doesn't even have the cure in her possession. Her actions were driven by emotions, her actions were focused against Elena. Even now she has mentioned Elena in the same breath as her former relationship with him.

A part of him was angry with her for making false allegations, for doubting the feelings he had for her. But he believed it wasn't entirely about him, even though she was certainly angry at him for leaving her, denying her pleads to stay and start a life with her.

He thought about it. She has held a grudge against Elena for a long time, but she never tried to directly attack her and risk her life whilst doing so. She was always controlled, she didn't let feelings or emotion get in the way. Something must have triggered her. He closed the gap between them, noticing her pounding heart, the way she closed her eyes, her shaky breath.

It wasn't normal neither for Katerina nor for Katherine to think she deserves to die, they were both very attached to life. But now she was convinced she was going to die, she didn't even fight it or defend herself.

It didn't sink in until this minute. The resemblance between Elena's words about Katerina _»She's a monster now, Elijah«_ and Katerina's _»I'm nothing more than a heartless monster«._

Elena has not only gotten into him but also into Katerina. Elena dared to trick him into doubting Katerina's intention regarding him. Yes, Katerina lied to him, but apparently she wasn't trying to fool him. Perhaps her feelings were actually real. Katerina would be mad and angry with him after he left her, but she would never be afraid of him. She knew that he had talked to her doppelganger, she probably blamed Elena for his decision to leave her.

But that didn't explain why she thought of herself as a monster, as someone he would kill without batting an eye, without any cause. It seems like she forgot that he cared for her. Something must have happened and he had the strong feeling it has to do with Miss Gilbert.

„What exactly did Elena say to you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading this story. Again, it's an old story of mine and the first fanfiction I ever wrote, hence the flaws and the different style of writing as I won't do much editing of the original draft. I'm going to upload the rest in the next few days. I still hope you'll enjoy it


	4. Chapter 4

_„What exactly did Elena say to you?"_ Katherine repeated his words in her mind. Once, twice, even a third time. Yes, what did sweet, lovely Elena say? Should she tell him how she made fun of her? How she had to bring her down to the gutter?

"It doesn't matter, does it?" her voice was almost emotionless as the words left her mouth.

She didn't know what game he was playing. He clearly didn't come all the way from what she assumed was New Orleans, to talk about Elena. No, he had a plan, a motivation. If he wanted to talk, he could have called her, not that she intended to pick up, but he could have tried it.

Instead, he comes here out of the blue and started to ask questions. He was playing her and she was tired of it.

"You came to me for a reason. You're not someone who just does spontaneous things, you had this whole thing planned. So what is it? Are you into torture now? Do you want me to beg for it? Should I get on my knees to beg for mercy and a quick ending?" she spat the words out, but with a steady voice.

He didn't make any move yet, nevertheless, his ultimate proximity made her nervous, her heart still beat too fast.

She was convinced he came to end her because he hated loose ends as much as she did. Why would he want her to be alive anyway? He probably thought of her as a danger, as someone who knew _too much_ about his family. She knew what happens when he is betrayed and she knew that he thinks she has lied to him, that she has used him. He had all the reasons to do it but didn't make a move.

Did he enjoy this? Did he enjoy seeing her like this? He knows she is afraid, even though she tried to hide it. She's sure there are things that cannot be hidden. Especially with a heartbeat as loud as hers at the moment.

"I did _not_ come to end you!" his voice louder than the last time, stressing every word, admitting of no contradiction.

"Then why did you come? You didn't bother about me before" perhaps she grew more confident now that he said he didn't mean to kill her. Even though she didn't trust his words. No, he can't be trusted anymore.

He seems to consider his words, as he didn't answer her directly. _Wonderful._ He was searching for nice words.

"Rebekah - " he sighed, taking a few steps back. He looked conflicted as to what to say to her, so she just rose an eyebrow and waited for him to go on.

"She mentioned your attack on Elena and the disappearance of the cure. I wanted to make sure you're not going to cause any ... irritations"

So that was it. He thought she could be a problem to the all-mighty Mikaelson family. He thought she had stolen the cure and planned on making a move against them. Not that they wouldn't deserve it, but she knows she wouldn't stand a chance.

"Sorry to disappoint, but I don't have the cure.", she made a pause, after almost hissing those words at him. "Seriously, how dumb do you think I am? Do you really think I would be so stupid to come after Klaus to shove the cure down his throat? Do you think I have a death wish? He'd gladly rip me apart before I have the slightest chance of touching him!" Her eyes were now glaring at him. But her rant wasn't over. The fear she felt before has turned into a furor. She was still afraid of dying, but if he really planned on killing her, she wouldn't stand a chance against him, so she can use the little time she had as well.

"So what would you have done if I had the cure, hm? I know what you do to the people who dare to attack your precious family. You would kill me, have me killed or you'd have me wrapped up as a nice gift for Klaus. So don't dare to ask me why I believe you would do such things to me. I am _nothing_ to you!", she snarled, knowing it was true. He didn't care about her.

Apparently, Elijah didn't expect such an outburst, he was trying to search for words.

" I have not- I hoped the assumption wouldn't be proven as true! I wouldn't have wanted to kill- "

"Oh stop it, Elijah. Stop lying.", she almost shouted now

"You have no reason to not do it. I don't know what game you are playing, why you're so keen on letting me wait for my death, but at least stop lying", her voice was still angry, but more quietly now. The calmer and firmer she remained, the more cutting were her words.

"Do not accuse me of lying, Katherine! I'm not going to end you. Stop accusing me of things I don't wish to do!", he sounded angered, perhaps even threatening, not only because he called her 'Katherine', but she didn't care. Why should she? It didn't matter anymore. Her fate was sealed if he really decided to hurt her.

"And why should I believe you, why should I trust you?" she shot him a blank stare, her face was completely emotionless.

"Because I cared for you. How do you expect me to kill someone I cared for?" he tried to explain himself, but she just waved his words aside.

"You cared for me?" a tired laugh escaped her lips.

"You cared for me? When? Half a millennium ago? You cared for my human self, not ever for me as I'm now."

"Do you think I lied to you? I cared for you! I fell in love with you! But regardless of my intentions towards you, you fooled me. How can I trust you when I always have to ask myself if you tell me the truth?" he pointed at her, his voice still calm but he couldn't trick her. Katherine knew he was angered. It's funny how he still thinks she fooled him. After everything that she has done for him. She snorted and eyed him pugnaciously.

"I have never fooled you. I trusted you. You call yourself so honorable, a man of his word. But did you keep your word? No!", he wanted to say something, but she cut him off.

"You _promised_ me to speak to Klaus, to give him the cure as my compensation for my freedom. You promised me! We had a deal. I get the cure and you get me my freedom. I did my part. I haven't tried to work around you. It wasn't me who betrayed the other one - it was you. Because even when I gave you the cure without asking anything in return, even then, you did nothing but mistrust me. You didn't even have the decency to work things out, you didn't even consider staying with me." her voice dripped with disapproval. A storm has been awakened within her, all the rage and furor she felt, all the grief and betrayal. A storm that was too strong to fight it.

 _He_ did this to her. All her actions, everything she has done in the past weeks was not only because of Elena but also because of him, because of Elijah Mikaelson. Because he chose to believe an emotionless vampire who would love nothing more than to destroy the little happiness she had.

It was his fault. He left her, leaving her without anything so that the others could mock her for being abandoned. He denied _her_ freedom as well as Klaus did. It should be her who's feeling used. It was _her_ who invested in their relationship, who got over herself and let her guards down.

She tried so hard to make their relationship work, she fought with her own demons. Just to discover she wasn't worth it? That she doesn't deserve happiness no matter how hard she tried?

"Do you know what it felt like? I was so close to being happy, so close to having a normal life." she spat her words out through gritted teeth and glared at him. All the rage she felt was going to turn on him now, her eyes glaring at him like she wanted to kill him.

"I did everything in my power to make our relationship work. Usually, I don't trust anyone but I and I don't let love come in the way. Nevertheless, I did it for you. I gave up my key to freedom for you, for us. Looks like it meant nothing to you!"

Just because he chose to believe Elena, just because he chose to break their deal, she had to go on the run again. It was because of him that she made a deal with Bonnie to gain another form of freedom. True immortality. And what happened? She got stabbed and got almost half of her face burned by Elena. In the end Bonnie lied to her like everyone else, denying her the promised immortality.

"But you, self-righteous as you are, still believed I was just using you. I have never used you for the purpose of survival. I have loved you, I have trusted you!" her words were cutting and loud, letting out all the rage she held.

Katherine wanted to throw something at him, she wanted to scream at him! But she wouldn't let her emotion get so far as to completely losing control. She was far too proud for losing control over a person, not a man, a person, who doesn't even deserve one more moment with her.

"Have you realized how absurd your accusations are? It would have been foolish to play an Original, it would have been dumb! You already chased me and tried to get me killed once, do you honestly think I would risk angering you? To repeat history? As I said before, I don't have a death wish! There was no need for me of betraying you! We had a deal and that's it, everything which came after, all the feelings I held for you were real and had nothing to do with the deal."

Did he ever even realized what he has done? How he could even think about her this way? He should have known better.

"But what can I expect? You wanted to know what Elena said to me?" she asked, her voice now calmer than ever. The storm inside her slowly faded away.

" _» What good would you be to anyone? You're the definition of damaged goods. No wonder Elijah left you.«_ And do you know what? She's probably right. You chased after a person who doesn't exist anymore. You were in love with Katerina, the person I was hundreds of years ago. She was the one you are in love with, but you never loved me. The person I'm today is nothing but a heartless monster, a broken toy no one wants. I'm good for being messed around with but for nothing more. Why should someone want to love a monster? Someone who became a killer in order to survive? Why should anyone want to let me have happiness? Why should anyone care about me?" her eyes filled with tears, she wasn't even trying to hold them back.

"I've trusted you, Elijah. I thought I could have a life with you. I felt safe with you. I was wary of running, I wanted to rest, to be happy. But what did you do? You threw me away like _garbage_. You betrayed me. How should I ever trust you again? You didn't give me a chance. You've judged me before I even had the opportunity to explain myself!"

She saw his expression changing during her talk. At first, he was angry, but the more she said, the more he frowned. It almost looked like he realized something.

"I didn't think of you as a broken toy. I don't think you're damaged goods. I - I never intended to hurt you, Katerina. I shouldn't have- You're not- I beg your pardon" his voice was soft and filled with regret when he rung for words. He slowly approached her, raising his hand as if he wanted to touch her cheeks. But he stopped, withdrawing his hand.

She swallowed, not bearing his proximity. Moments ago she was afraid of him, she feared he came to end her but now she only felt loneliness.

She wiped her tears away and turned around. Walking away from him, towards a large window where she looked outside, watching the grey sky for a few minutes. The room was silent.

"It doesn't matter, Elijah. You've made your choice. You didn't choose me and you probably never will. It was an illusion to think you'd love me. It's an illusion to think anyone ever could" her words were a whisper and only now did she turn around, sadness in her eyes.

"Is that truly what you think of yourself? That you can not be loved?" he asked, swallowing. He looked pained. He didn't look like a predator anymore. No, she wasn't afraid of him right now.

"You're an adorable, amazing woman, Katerina, and no one's going to change that."

"I don't care about _'no one'_ , I cared about what _you_ were thinking of me! But you, inerrant as you are, chose Elena. You chose to believe the person who despises me, who'd love to see me going down. Tell me why. Tell me what she said to you to turn you against me. If you really have loved me, if you really cared for me, why was it so easy to turn against me? To believe Elena? Why shouldn't I think I don't deserve love or any happiness. Convince me to change my mind!" she almost demanded it. She's been wondering for weeks what she has said to him, what her doppelganger had done. She wanted to know, not that she's needing one more cause to rip her ugly heart out.

Watching him carefully now, she narrowed her eyes. Oh yes, she wanted to satisfy her curiosity. What can she tell him to make him doubt her? Elijah seemed to consider his words, breaking eye contact with her for a moment.

"You killed Jeremy Gilbert" he said with a neutral tone in his voice. "There was no need of killing him. You should know what it is like to lose family. But you didn't care, you just didn't care."

She snorted contemptuously.

"You weren't there, Elijah. How can you judge if you don't know the situation? My mission was to get the cure. A hunter of the five was after it, your sister was after it, not to mention the Mystic Falls clique. I've been on the island for days to figure out where Silas was and how to get the cure. It was cold and wet and I had to sleep in a _cave_. I had no patience anymore, I wanted to go home! Besides that, Jeremy would have been dead anyway, if it weren't for me the hunter would have killed him. Using Jeremy was collateral damage as there was no way of getting the cure before I get myself killed."

if she could have prevented it, she would have done it. It would have been better to operate unnoticed. Without letting anyone know that it was her who had the cure.

"You still lied to me about it"

"Did I? You only asked if our mission was successful and I answered truthfully. How can I lie to you when you're not asking?" she crossed her arms in front of her chest, not believing he dumped her solely for Elena and Jeremy.

"That was everything she said to you? That was everything that was needed to turn you against me? Were my trust and love so worthless?" she asked, not believing it. How can he choose them over her? The sadness was gone now, changing into anger. Her mood was very twisted today, it was energy-sapping.

Elijah looked like he wasn't telling everything, there had to be more behind it. She waited but nothing came. Anger and hurt filled her because he still couldn't manage to be honest with her.

"That's it? That's everything that is needed to lose your trust? How dare you defend them! Not only what they did to me, but what they did to you too! Did it ever occur to you, that she might enjoy spreading lies, trying to distract you from what _she_ has done?"

"I don't understand? I had no reason to doubt Elena."

Katherine mentally rolled her eyes at his statement. How was he able to just ignore the things Elena did? Why was he always defending her, praising her? She was exhausted, tired, but she had to tell him. She wanted him to know the truth. She had to bite back a devilish smirk about what she's going to tell him.

"Of course you don't. Yeah, why should you ever doubt Elena and Jeremy? What do you think is needed in order to complete the hunter's mark? A hunter has to prove himself as a true hunter. And how could a hunter do that? By killing vampires. But now you would want to ask how many vampires are needed to complete the mark. Hm, what about a lot? It's nearly impossible to find that many vampires in such a short span of time. So the only solution to complete the mark within a short time is to go to a place with many vampires ... or to kill an Original."

She waited to let her words think in. She wanted to hurt him, to know what betrayal feels like. He thought he could trust sweet Elena, but oh how wrong he was. She wanted him to know what kind of monster Elena was, she wanted to let him know that he chose wrong. She wanted him to suffer, to realize what mistake he made.

"How do you think Kol has died? It wasn't the Salvatores who did this to him. It was Elena and company who tricked and trapped him, who staked him. They've killed your brother without batting an eye. They didn't care about how many vampires have to die if they kill him. They didn't care about his, your, family, they didn't care that he'll be probably missed."

She noticed his reaction, the way his eyes widened. _He didn't know._ Sucks being lied to, after all, it was Elena who wasn't being honest with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading this story. Again, it's an old story of mine and the first fanfiction I ever wrote, hence the flaws and the different style of writing as I won't do much editing of the original draft. I'm going to upload the rest in the next few days. I still hope you'll enjoy it


	5. Chapter 5

When he had decided to search for her, he hadn't expected such an outgoing. Perhaps he didn't think this through, perhaps he made it too easy. He had told himself that he was prepared. He thought, hoped, that the cause of his visit was unnecessary, anyway - just a _precautionary measure_.

He remembered Rebekah's rant and the way she spoke about Katherine's and Elena's fight, but mostly about the Cure that she wanted for herself. His sister had quite the temper and her words weighed heavy on him. He had to assume the worst. He couldn't forgive himself if he wouldn't take action when believing Katherine might want to plot against his family. He knew that she could be very vengeful, but she was determined as well. If she had the chance to get her freedom – the freedom she certainly deserves – she would do everything for it. She already told him she could shove the cure down Klaus's throat but she wouldn't do it because of him. But after he left, she had no reason to stop her aim. In fact, he thought it was within the realm of possibility that she could act out of anger. He knew many people who forgot every caution just to get revenge. He just wanted to make sure she wouldn't do something she'll regret. He had to make sure to prevent her from doing something which would danger her.

* * *

He thought he was prepared to meet her again. Prepared to not let her fool him, to not get twisted around her fingers. He knew how seducing she could get and he knew about his own disease of wanting to believe her. He also knew she wouldn't be pleased to see him, whether it was because he had left her or he came to prevent her from reaching her goal. He thought if he stayed calm, perhaps even cold, it would be easier to make the right decisions. To successfully prevent her from whatever she might be planning or plotting and then _leave._ He thought it would be easy to be successful in his mission.

But he was wrong.

He wasn't prepared for this situation. At least not in this way. She acted like her fate was already sealed, even if he had no intention of harming her. Even if she indeed tried to make a move against his family, even then, he wouldn't harm her. He just couldn't do that. So the continued accusations of him wanting to kill her were surprising and – considering he already made his point of view clear – absurd.

He didn't want to hear any of the nonsense she seemed to believe. He didn't even want to believe that she thought he could get some kind of disgusting enjoyment out of her situation. He wasn't Niklaus. That look in her brown eyes, that pure fear of him, and her unshaken belief he wanted to kill her made him feel physically sick.

But it wasn't only these things, which caused his mixed feelings. When hearing she hadn't had the cure nor whished to use it on Niklaus, he was relieved. He exhaled, only noticing now how strained he was. He thought the situation would ease now, that she wouldn't be afraid of him anymore. He hoped she'd calm down, but he was wrong. She started a rant and naturally he felt provoked.

She started to throw those words at him, accusations he wouldn't tolerate for a second - if it was another person, he would have ripped that person's heart out right now. But it was her, still _his Katerina_. Even though she seemed to challenge him now, trying to break down his reserve, his calm appearance. It was hard to stay calm, to not interrupt her. In fact, he was rather surprised as he had never seen such an outburst from her. She wasn't right, he could never kill her nor leave her to Niklaus. God knows what he would do to her and he didn't want to find out.

He felt his calmness go, he felt it slip with every word which left her mouth. It would be too tempting to choose harsher words, to _make her_ understand. But he controlled himself, just staring at her. Only his voice showed that he's upset, he would even call it angered when he tried to explain himself. He doesn't like to repeat himself, especially not to something as absurd as her accusations. He thought he made himself clear before.

But nevertheless, how many times he repeated his words, no matter how many times he made clear that he didn't plan on harming her, she didn't seem to believe him. She didn't seem to trust him. Her following words confirmed that. And once again he was surprised by her choice of words. That she implied that he never cared for her, that he never felt anything for her. _She didn't know how wrong she was._ He did not only care about her in the past, he still does in some kind of way. If he wouldn't, he would have acted differently. If he wouldn't care for her, he wouldn't have tried to have a talk with her first. He would have brought down everyone who would put his family in danger, who dared to threaten his family.

Nevertheless, he couldn't deny that she tempted him. Angered him. He was about to reach his limits of staying calm. Her words, her false accusations angered him, more than anything else, which lead to a cold stare. How was he supposed to stay calm if she is accusing him of faking his intentions towards her? He doesn't let himself care too easily, let alone love someone. It's almost like she's mocking his feelings regarding her. He wouldn't let her call him a liar, especially not because she was the one who wasn't honest with him.

But the more she raged on, the more his anger disappeared, letting a new, strange feeling in.

 _» You promised_ _me to speak to Klaus, to give him the cure as my compensation for my freedom. You promised me! (...) I have loved you, I have trusted you! (...) But what can I expect? You wanted to know what Elena said to me? What good would you be to anyone? You're the definition of damaged goods. No wonder Elijah left you. And do you know what? She's probably right. You chased after a person who doesn't exist anymore. You were in love with Katerina, the person I was hundreds of years ago. She was the one you are in love with, but you never loved me. The person I'm today is nothing but a heartless monster, a broken toy no one wants. I'm good for being messed around with but for nothing more. Why should someone want to love a monster? Someone who became a killer in order to survive? Why should anyone want to let me have happiness? Why should anyone care about me? I've trusted you, Elijah. I thought I could have a life with you. I felt safe with you. I was wary of running, I wanted to rest, to be happy. But what did you do? You threw me away like garbage. You betrayed me. How should I ever trust you again? «_

Those words haunted him, digging deep into him, cutting into him like knives. He let her words sink in, deeply. He felt himself being torn between trying to stay calm, to not let her words hit him, but he couldn't fight the pain which filled him. Her words pained him. Her tears pained him. More than it should. More than he would have imagined. He felt himself break more and more.

It was the moment that he realized he lied to himself.

She loved him. She loved him as he did love her. Even though he tried to convince himself to stop caring for her. He guessed he failed in doing so, it was only now that he realized he never stopped loving her despite trying to forget her when he moved to New Orleans. He never did. And that's the real reason why he's been here. Not only because he wanted to prevent any harm from coming to his family, but he also wanted to prevent her from doing something which could _threaten her life_. He wanted to protect her, despite feeling used and fooled - which was probably another lie he told himself, too.

If he was honest, absolute honesty, with himself _now_ , he hadn't believed that she toyed with him. He doubted her after speaking with Elena, that's true. He would admit that Elena had gotten into him. Part of him wanted to believe Katerina, especially after she gave him the cure without asking anything in return. Part of him knew that she was honest with him. But there was another part too, questioning her and her motives. He decided to just believe the lie he told himself - that she didn't care for him, that she's just using him. He deliberately let the seed of mistrust grow, which was planted by Elena. A mistake!

He disavowed Katerina's feelings, he disavowed that her feelings were indeed true and genuine. He had hurt her - and in his blindness, he hadn't even realized _how much_ he had hurt her when he doubted her feelings. _Just because he chose to believe a lie_.

However, his decision of leaving her and going to New Orleans had _other reasons_ , it wasn't about doubting her feelings or him not loving her anymore. _It was about protecting her._ No, he is in love with her since their time in England. She held his affection the minute he laid his eyes on her. He didn't fell in love often, actually, it was rare that he feels something for someone who wasn't his family. But if he falls for someone, his love runs deep.

Yet, it was sometimes necessary to let someone go. It broke his heart to leave her behind. It pained him that he couldn't give her some sort of happiness or the freedom he promised her. He felt like being torn apart. It was easier for him to leave if he convinced himself that Katherine was just using him. He knew he would hurt her by not choosing her, but his family. Although he had no choice. Leaving her was the right thing to do, even though she can't know about the real reasons. He had hoped that perhaps it would be easier for her to move on if she hated him for his decision of putting Niklaus above her.

But he had chosen the wrong way. He wasn't aware of the fact that his Katerina would believe she wasn't worth loving. He wasn't aware that she would think about herself as some kind of monster, who didn't deserve happiness. What had he done? He had hurt her, not only once or twice. He hadn't kept his word! He had broken her! He was so blinded by disappointment(?), fear(?) that he choose to just let himself believe a lie, not making things right before he had to leave. Like a fool, he had chosen _the easiest way_.

That realization hit him hard, almost sweeping him off his feet.

_What has he done? What has he done?_

He was consumed by guilt and pain, barely able to hold it together.

Her tears broke him, as well as her belief that she was worthless. He had the urge to comfort her, to hold her, to wipe her tears away. He took a step towards her, even raising a hand. But he stopped, afraid that he would frighten her again.

"I didn't think of you as a broken toy. I don't think you're damaged goods. I - I never intended to hurt you, Katerina. I shouldn't have- You're not- I beg your pardon"

It pained him that she thought of herself as someone who wasn't worth it. It pained him that it was because of him. He did this to her. It was his own fault. It was because he chose the easiest way, denying everything that had been between them.

He begged for forgiveness, hoped that he could change her mind. She wasn't willing to accept his apology, though, as she turned around and shut him out.

Nevertheless, he didn't give up too easily.

"Is that truly what you think of yourself? That you can not be loved? You're an adorable, amazing woman, Katerina, and no one's going to change that." he tried to convince her that she's worth it, that there was nothing wrong with her. She is an amazing person, someone who never failed to fascinate him. And yet he failed again, he didn't succeed in making her believe she's worth it.

Instead, she questioned him again and he was desperately trying to search for the right answer. She wanted to know what Elena had said to him to turn him against her and he felt ashamed of telling the truth, of admitting how easily he has been manipulated. He should have listened to Katerina right after she wanted to make things right, but he chose to deny her wish and left her in the streets.

"You killed Jeremy Gilbert. There was no need of killing him. You should know what it is like to lose family. But you didn't care, you just didn't care."

Yes, that was the reason that had triggered him. Nevertheless, he shouldn't have reacted so rejecting. He didn't know what had gotten into him that day. Perhaps it was because he was afraid Elena was right. Perhaps he was afraid that Katerina was indeed gone and Katherine just wanted someone to make a deal for her, just to drop him afterward. However, he should have listened to Katerina. He should have heard her out. Perhaps he acted so unjustifiedly because he was afraid that everything was a lie. How could he trust someone if he always has to be afraid of being lied to? It was quite pathetic for an Orignal to be afraid of anything, but he was.

Unfortunately, Katerina didn't seem to understand his reasons, why he did what he has done. But who could blame her? She couldn't read his mind and he just couldn't admit he was so wrong, so blinded. He was ashamed of what he did.

Worse still, Katerina began to rant again, making him swallow in discomfort. He could end this right now, but she was right. He deserved this.

And he listened. He listened to every word, no matter what she threw against him. She had every right to be mad at him, to be angry.

However, as she began to speak about Kol, he stiffened, the pain of losing his brother still felt real. His eyes widened by her words and he couldn't hold back a deep growl about the abomination he had just heard. He didn't know. He didn't know Elena was involved. Niklaus hadn't told him.

He searched for words, the pain of betrayal overwhelmed him. Niklaus lied to him again and he knew exactly why. His brother knew that he would kill everyone who tried to harm his family. Everyone. He wouldn't stop from doing so just because it was Elena. No, it wouldn't stop him from avenging his younger brother. Niklaus held this information deliberately back...

His half-brother couldn't risk him killing Elena, who wanted to be human again and with the cure being around, it was very possible that she indeed would turn mortal again. Niklaus wouldn't miss his chance to use a mortal doppelgänger for making new hybrids. He lied to him on purpose, making him believe it was an experienced hunter of the five who killed Kol. And he blindly believed it because everyone in his family knew how dangerous a hunter of the five could get to his family - if he had the right weapon. Although he had to admit that he has never asked whence someone could have gotten such a weapon.

He closed his eyes, rubbing his temples. His head pounded and felt like it wanted to explode. He felt drained, almost weakened. But moreover, he felt hurt. He was in pain. He wanted to let his frustration out, wanted to shout. Perhaps even damage something. Or rather he most likely wanted to damage something, let someone pay. He definitely would have to have a talk with Niklaus, who betrayed him again. Who lied to him again. He felt like he couldn't trust anyone anymore, not even his own family.

If he had known it was Elena and her brother who killed Kol, if only he had known...

But he hadn't and he shouldn't think about a 'what if'.

It was hard, but he took a deep breath, fighting the pain of the revealment about Kol's death back. It took him some strength to just open his eyes, which immediately laid on Katerina again.

He should concentrate on the things he still could change.

"I apologize, Katerina. I've made a terrible mistake. Please, let me make things right. I - "but before he could finish his sentence, he was interrupted.

"Let it be Elijah. I don't want to see you anymore, I don't want to hear your apologies. And don't dare to call me Katerina anymore, it's Katherine to you" her voice dripping with toxic, she went to the door and opened it for him, indicating for him to leave.

He looked at her, feeling tired. He didn't want to have another fight with her. For now, he respected her wishes and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading this story. Again, it's an old story of mine and the first fanfiction I ever wrote, hence the flaws and the different style of writing as I won't do much editing of the original draft. I'm going to upload the rest in the next few days. I still hope you'll enjoy it


	6. Chapter 6

When he was in his car again, his hands gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles went white. It was nagging at him that he was so blinded, that he seemed to have been played by everyone. By Elena, by Niklaus. Liars and betrayal all around him. Moreover, he pushed the woman away who actually had some feelings for him, who didn't use him. Her feelings were real, she had loved him. Had. She probably didn't hold any affection for him now. She feared him, hated him - he couldn't blame her.

Her trust was vulnerable, fragile. She didn't trust someone easily but she had trusted him. He wouldn't say she trusted him with her life - Katerina wouldn't lay her life in others' hands - but she had trusted him with her future. Their future. Little did she know he couldn't have a future with her, wasn't allowed to have a future with her, not as long as Niklaus depended on him. Nevertheless, he should have never parted from her like this, he should have never doubted her feelings, her intentions, in the first place.

He put his black sportscar in reverse, driving away from the place where she stayed. Yet he didn't leave town - he planned on staying for a bit.

_xxx_

As soon as Elijah had left, she locked her front door and closed all windows. Her tension, her change of mood, being frightened, terrified, angry, and sad demanded its price. She felt like she couldn't breathe, her mind racing with thousand thoughts, her hands shaking. Being a vampire, all the feelings were heightened and for someone like her, who tried to control her feelings, the last minutes were simply too much.

She felt her paranoia coming up again - she didn't feel safe anymore, she felt like running, leaving everything behind. She wanted to disappear, to vanish. The brunette closed her eyes, trying to take a deep breath. She had to calm down, she would go crazy if she let her paranoia and anxiety control her. No, she couldn't allow that. She was Katherine Pierce, a survivor. And no one, not even Elijah Mikaelson, could change that or be allowed to have that much control over her.

* * *

_xxx_

He had arrived at a nice, little boardinghouse. It wasn't really his style, he preferred hotels with receptions and actual suites. He preferred having a minibar in his room, filled with expensive alcohol. However, this housing was rather simple but get its job done. He took off his jacket before he dialed Rebekah's number. He waited until she picked up her phone, a hand in his pocket while he watched out the window, watching the street underneath his window.

He just wanted to let his sister know that he wouldn't make it to dinner, that he had to take care of some business which could take a few days. Rebekah didn't know why he had left in the first place, but he didn't want to worry her about his disappearance. Sure, he could have talked to Niklaus, but he didn't wish to speak to his brother right now, not after what he had learned. He always thought that his half-brother cared for his siblings, even though he had his own twisted way of showing it. Nevertheless, Niklaus hid the details of Kol's death and therefore denied him to avenge his little brother.

That knowledge bothered him, but it couldn't distract him from thinking about Katerina. It couldn't distract him from thinking about her words, how hurt she looked. It couldn't stop him from thinking about the mistake he made.

Worse still, he hadn't even known about it. All those weeks he had been in New Orleans, taking care of family business, the witches, and Marcellus he had just stopped thinking about her. He hadn't felt like himself after he left Katerina, though. It was like a part of him went missing when he moved to New Orleans. But he had ignored the emptiness of his heart, had ignored the feeling of being lost.

Sometimes, when he couldn't sleep and spent the better half of the night on his balcony, watching over the landscape whilst drinking a glass of whiskey he felt a sting, felt the loneliness that had taken over him. But he had never allowed himself to let his mind drifting off, he hadn't allowed himself to think about her.

He had pushed every memory of her aside and he had succeeded in doing so. He hadn't asked himself what she might be doing or how she coped with it. _He had been so ignorant._ If only he had allowed himself to care, he could have prevented her from thinking so low of herself.

His hand ran across his face, right before he turned away from the window. He just couldn't stop thinking about her, couldn't forget the hurt in her face. It haunted him.

Still, he had to stop. He had to keep a cool head if he wanted to make things right.

He took a shower and in the absence of a new suit he had to wear the same suit again. He would help himself to new clothing later.

Being not really comfortable in staying in that small room, he chose to take a walk. His mind wandered off to Katerina, like so many times in the last few hours. It was almost like she had invaded his mind.

Before he noticed it, he found himself in the street where she lived, able to see the place where she was staying. And in that exact moment, he saw the front door open, saw her stepping out. She was making a call and locked quite hectic, nevertheless, he couldn't help but smile whilst watching her.

However, his smile dropped when he saw a taxi halting right in front of her. The driver got out and Katerina led him inside, just for him to return with bags a few moments later. Instantly he knew she was about to run, about to disappear. He hadn't planned on confronting her so soon after she requested that she didn't want to see him anymore but if he didn't take his chance now, she would be gone. He'd lose her all over again.

_xxx_

She made the decision of leaving just half an hour after Elijah had left. She wasn't safe anymore, not with him knowing where he could find her. Although she still wondered how he was even able to find her. She was cloaked and last time she checked - which was just a few hours before he had appeared - the spell was still on. There was no way that he let a witch do a locator spell, so he must have found her in another way.

She kept thinking about how he managed to do so, she kept thinking for an hour. Nobody knew where she went after that ... incident in Mystic Falls. She even compelled every neighbor into forgetting that they have ever seen her. There was no way he could have found out.

Nevertheless, he did. And he will probably do it again if she didn't find out what had led him to her. It took another thirty minutes until her eye caught her smartphone. To be honest she hadn't expected him to be technically skilled. He didn't seem like someone who would do smartphone tracking. Apparently, he was too keen or desperate to find her, to stop her from using the cure on Klaus or his family. _Too bad she hadn't had the cure, so he had to admit he made a mistake by accusing her of treachery_.

It was only seconds after her discovery that she completely destroyed her phone _after_ she compelled someone to get her a new prepaid mobile. Only then she packed all of her things, booking a flight to Australia and hopefully far, far away from anyone here.

30 minutes later she was ready to go, she just had to wait for her taxi which would bring her to the airport.

It was relieving to know that she'd be gone, be far away from Mystic Falls, Klaus, and Elijah. She actually looked forward to visiting Australia, she hadn't been really there until now. They say the beaches are beautiful and Sydney is a great place to live.

She heard him appearing before she heard his voice, heard the sound the air made when someone was moving _too fast._

"You're leaving?"

Katherine stiffened, her jaws tightened. She thought about not turning around, just to ignore him. But she knew he wouldn't tolerate ignorance anyway.

"I don't see how that's any of your concern. If anything, what are you doing here? I thought you'd be gentleman enough to respect my wish of not wanting to see you" she tried to speak calmly, even though she felt the anger rise, along with fear. She didn't trust him, because even though he always looked or acted controlled, he had a fierce temper. He was dangerous, no matter how flawless his appearance was.

Elijah pressed his lips together, his hands gliding into his pockets. He could see she wasn't in the mood to talk, at least not with him. Yet he couldn't let her just leave. He had to talk to her.

"My apologies. I just need a moment of your time. I want to talk with you, Kater- Katherine"

he hated how it felt to address her as 'Katherine' when speaking to her. He didn't like it. He didn't like the sound of it. But all he could at least do was to respect her wish regarding her name.

She noticed that he remembered her wish, or rather her demand, to call her Katherine. He really tried hard, but that didn't change the fact she didn't want to talk with him.

"I'm sorry, but I don't have time. Goodbye, Elijah" she went past him, wanting to walk out on him, wanting to get away from him. She didn't get too far as he grabbed her arm, softly but decisive, preventing her from leaving.

Katherine didn't like the touch of his hand, being the first time he actually touched her since he left her to storm off to New Orleans. She didn't like it because it reminded her of good times, it reminded her of how good his hugs felt. Her arm felt like burning because of his touch, even though it was covered by her leather jacket.

"I'm asking you to hear me out. Give me a few minutes. I -" he paused because he didn't really want to speak the next words, he didn't want to think about losing her again. "I give you my word I let you be then, I won't come looking for you again if you wish so"

She wanted to burst out laughing, her cold stare met his warm one.

"You give me your word? Your word is worthless, Elijah. I've learned that the hard way"

Perhaps she wanted to hit him, perhaps she even succeeded in doing so. There was something in his eyes, something like despair. She could see that it was important to him, that he really wanted to speak with her. And she would love nothing more than denying his request, just like he had denied her.

Elijah could tell that he really had lost her trust, that she held his word for worthless. He deserved it, though. He didn't keep his word to her, why should she believe he would do now? He sighed, letting go of her arm.

"Then what can I do to get a few minutes of your time? If my word is worthless -which it isn't-, what can I offer?" he asked with a serious tone.

She snorted, her eyes fixing something behind him as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"I don't know? Give me my freedom? You know, the one you trade in for pleasing your sister's delusional wishes. Oh, or give me my lifetime back that I have wasted on you, believing you would care for me! But you can't make that happen, can you? I guess that means you don't get one freakin' minute of my time"

He wasn't in the mood for playing her little games, so he decided on switching his tactic. He had accepted that he wouldn't get what he wanted if he just appealed to her heart. She is too stubborn to give in. But he could be stubborn as well.

"You do realize that if I wouldn't care for you, I wouldn't try to make things right? If I wouldn't care, I wouldn't ask for your time, I'd _make_ you hear me out. And yet here I stand, asking you nicely for a little chat, promising you I'll leave you alone after you have listened to me. It's an offer I don't make to everyone."

She had to admit that he got a point. He mostly makes people do what he wanted, compelling them or forcing them otherwise. He could easily do that to her too. And yet he didn't, perhaps it was indeed something important. She hated it, but her curiosity grew.

"Fine" her gaze trailed away from him again, taking a deep breath. "I'll listen. Just keep it short and then _leave_."

He implied going inside and she followed, the door standing still open. She made the taxi driver wait because hopefully, it wouldn't take long.

She didn't trust him, so she leaned against the door frame, keeping her distance. _Ready to run if necessary._

"So tell me, what is so important that you forgot your gentleman-manners and disrespected a girl's simply wish of not wanting to see you again?"

she asked and could hold back the resentment in her voice. It was strange how her mood had changed compared to her first meeting with him. She didn't believe that he wanted to kill her anymore. If he really wanted to do that, he had already done it. She was less frightened, however, still mad at him.

Her gaze followed him as he was strolling around before he halted, but he didn't look at her. Like he tried to avoid her even though he was the one who was seeking this talk.

"I was wrong" those three simple words slipped his lips, yet it was hard to admit it. He was hardly wrong in anything nor would he admit it to anyone. But he was wrong about her and he owed it to her to let her know.

"I should have heard you out instead of assuming things. I should have given you the chance to explain yourself. But most importantly, I shouldn't have doubted your feelings. And for that, I truly beg your pardon." his eyes looked into hers, catching her entirely even though they were six meters apart.

She wanted to doubt his apology, she wanted to doubt that he meant it but she knew him better than this. He wasn't a liar. Perhaps he wouldn't tell everything -even though that would be a lie as well, according to him- but he would mean every word he says.

"I'm thinking about it" her answer probably wasn't what he had hoped for, but he had to do more than just apologize to earn her forgiveness.

He knew that a simple apology wouldn't make up for what he had done to her, but it was the first step to make. He just wanted to let her know that he had been wrong. Katerina should never think of herself as some kind of monster who deserved every bad that had happened to her.

"Nevertheless it still makes me wonder why you've changed your mind. You don't do that."

She still looked into his eyes, believing she could see some kind of- but before she could identify what it was, he looked away.

He had looked away and focused his gaze upon her packed bags, the ones which weren't yet in the car waiting for her.

How should he explain to her what he had done? How he hadn't known better? How he chose to believe a lie, how he chose to lie to himself? What he did wasn't something which he considered as 'noble'. No, it was simply false. Against his ethics.

"I guess I was afraid and that's why I let the seed of mistrust grow. You have to understand, I don't find myself caring about someone outside of my family. I'm careful with feelings."

He stepped closer to her, his hand grabbing her hand softly, locking his fingers with hers. He watched her carefully, but she seemed to be consent with his touch.

"However, I can't help myself but care for you. I believe I share a connection with you, I even go so far as saying I'm in love with you since the minute I got to spend more time with you"

Actually, he felt affection for her the moment he laid eyes on her, which grew deeper the more he got to know her. He still remembered their talks, their time in the gardens. Her laughter and her free spirit.

She watched their hands, listening to his words. It was heartwarming - if it would be true.

"Then tell me, Elijah, why did you choose Elena over me? Why doubt me in the first place? Why were you afraid?" his words didn't make sense, she just couldn't get his reasons. She withdrew her hand and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

He took a deep breath. He wasn't used to confessing mistakes or feelings. He wasn't used to having to explain himself. He has never done that. But he had to do it if he wanted to earn her forgiveness.

"I've always admired Elena's compassion, the way she put her loved ones over herself, her willingness to put herself in harm's way to protect her family and friends. Traits I wish to see in my own family, too. I saw a lot of the qualities I value in people in her. One could say we've shared a friendship and I felt like I could trust her. I haven't seen a reason why she would lie to me. Unfortunately, vampirism seemed to change her. I wouldn't have listened to her if I had known about her treacherous involvement in Kol's death"

Katherine pressed her lips together when hearing his explanation. He cared for her stupid doppelgänger and he even admits it. Good, sweet little Elena for the win. Was he serious?

"Sounds like you haven't just admired Elena if you thought so highly of her"

To her, it actually sounded like he fell for Elena, like he had a soft spot for her. She knew that Elena and the Salvatores have daggered him, which was the cause she broke free from his compulsion in the first place. She can't imagine that he let them dagger him, so it was a betrayal. He would kill for that. And yet he didn't. It was obvious he couldn't kill Elena as she was needed back then, but he could have killed the Salvatores and the only reason he didn't was probably because of Elena.

She wasn't around when this had happened, being forced to stay in the tomb and later being Klaus's prisoner. And right after that, she left town. However, she had heard of a few things. She always liked to stay informed. Because of that, she knew that Elena betrayed him again, wanting to kill his entire family with the help of his mother.

So many betrayals on the part of Elena and yet she was still alive, more so, he had chosen to believe her.

"Why me then? If you admire Elena so much, why didn't you go for her? She looks like me but has the traits you value. She was almost like me when I was still human. It's only fitting you would choose her instead of me. Although you kinda did that already"

It's always Elena, it's always about Elena. Elena, Elena, Elena. She couldn't hear it anymore and he was no better than the others.

He was surprised by her words as he hadn't expected them. She had a point though because he might have really a soft spot for Elena because she reminded him too much of Katerina. Nevertheless, he never intended to replace Katerina with Elena. Alone the imagination was absurd.

"I suppose you're suggesting I would replace you with Elena? I assure you that wouldn't have happened. Elena might hold traits I value in people, but she doesn't possess the traits I look for in a _partner_. You, however, are a fighter. Someone who'll always stand up if you're down. You think things through, you're smart, independent. But most importantly, you're full of life."

He made a pause, his feelings were almost capable of overwhelming him.

"When I met you many lifetimes ago, you were able to make me _feel_ something for the first time in my already very long life. You might be another person today but that doesn't change the effect you have on me. You still make me feel _alive_ "

He hadn't expected that, he didn't believe that love exists until he had met her. Ever since he became a vampire, he ceased to believe in love. There was no place for love. He wouldn't let himself care about anyone but his family. When he met her, however, it changed.

He swallowed and closed his eyes for a moment. He's going to say something he never imagined he would admit. _Love is a vampire's greatest weakness._ His feelings for her were too strong, it even gets to the point where it _frightened_ him.

"The only reason I believed Elena... the only reason I made that mistake was that I've been afraid. I don't fall in love, I'm afraid of what love can do. How the person I love can become my greatest weakness. And I was afraid that I can't control my feelings for you any longer."

He looked her in the eyes all the time whilst he spoke, his words revealing much more than he ever thought.

"But that is more on me. However, after I've spoken to Elena and hearing that you use me like every man before, it was like all my fears came true. That you wouldn't return my feelings or didn't want my love once after you didn't depend on me anymore. I was afraid that I've been so blinded by love, that you'll use that particular weakness of mine to get what you want and I wouldn't even notice it."

Katherine was surprised by his confession. More so, she believed him. He always seemed so confident in what he does, she never thought he would struggle that much with having feelings. After all, he loved his family more than anything. However, it sounded like he was afraid of having romantic feelings.

She saw it in the way his eyes sparkled, how emotional he was. She knew him well enough to know that he told the absolute truth. It was strange because she felt herself gravitating towards him because of his confessions. Like all the anger, frustration and any dislike she held against him faded away. And he wasn't even finished yet.

"I shouldn't have listened to Elena because even though I do not approve of your actions regarding Jeremy Gilbert, I shouldn't have assumed that you were playing and using me, that you didn't have any feelings for me. A part of me always knew that you weren't lying but I just ignored it and believed the lie I told myself that you've never cared for me. I shouldn't have done that. Because no matter what, no matter if you're Katerina, Katherine, or both, I can't and shouldn't deny that I love you."

She couldn't help herself but smile for a moment. Hearing that he loved her, not only Katerina, meant much. However, it wasn't enough. His words didn't explain why he had left her, why he had betrayed her.

"If you really love me, if you can't deny that you love me, why haven't you chosen me? Why haven't you kept your word?"

Elijah sighed because he had to admit his failure. He had to admit that he didn't only make a mistake, but also failed her.

"Despite everything which had happened, I've talked to Niklaus. I've asked him to spare you and trade in the last white oak stake for your freedom. He refused. To be more precise, he promised me that he would continue to chase you. I beg your pardon for failing you - again"

Even though he had looked at her until now, he couldn't look at her anymore. He had failed her, perhaps he even made it worse.

Katherine couldn't believe what she has heard. She hadn't expected that Elijah tried to make a deal with Klaus after all. It was just another proof that he indeed _cared_ for her.

She stepped closer to him, her hand touching his cheek. She waited until he looked at her again, her eyes looking into his.

"You haven't left because I didn't matter to you, have you? You've left me to protect me"

When he nodded, she sighed.

"You should have talked to me, Elijah. You should have told me"

It would have changed a lot if she had known that he didn't leave her because he didn't care for her anymore, but instead left her because Klaus had threatened him.

He laid his hand over her hand which laid on his cheek, pulling it softly away and placing a kiss on the back of her hand.

"I only hope you can forgive me for all of my recent mistakes one day, Katherine." he still sounded regretful and it touched her because he meant what he said.

"Just give me some time, Elijah. I'm thankful you were honest with me, but I need time."

He nodded understandingly, letting her hand go. He reached into his jacket to get a piece of paper and a pen before writing his phone number down, believing she had deleted his.

"If you are ready to forgive me, please let me know." with that, he handed her the piece of paper and she took it, letting it slide into her pocket. Elijah smiled weakly, taking that as a good sign.

"I'll go now, as I've promised. Thanks for hearing me out and... safe travels" he said with a look on her packed bags which still waited for being placed into the taxi.

Without another word, he left, resisting to kiss her goodbye - even if he just wanted to kiss her forehead. He guessed he has to earn that and he will wait until she'll allow him back into her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading this story. Again, it's an old story of mine and the first fanfiction I ever wrote, hence the flaws and the different style of writing as I won't do much editing of the original draft. I'm going to upload the rest in the next few days. I still hope you'll enjoy it


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The following chapter is split into multiple parts and has a few time jumps as well as flashbacks. I hope you enjoy following Elijah's life after Katherine's departure, I still find it hard to write him. This chapter contains a few things of The Originals, but it's not entirely / not really canon, I know that.
> 
> TW: blood, violence, murder, depression

**`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.· 7 months later `·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·**

The past months had been tiring. Though the weeks after Katerina's departure had been pleasing as he was finally able to avenge Kol. If it wasn't for Katerina, he had never known. He wanted justice because no one would hurt his family and get away with it! 'Always and forever' included Kol as well and even though he hadn't seen him ever since he left Mystic Falls after their mother's attempt of killing them, he felt remorse because he wasn't able to help him, he was not able to prevent his murder. He was family, he was his brother, even if they weren't always on the best terms. He hasn't even gotten the chance to say goodbye and now he was gone forever.

He was in Mystic Falls for days, capturing Elena and her not-so-dead brother Jeremy with the help of one of his witches. He hadn't known Jeremy was alive, he didn't know how this was even possible. Perhaps someone brought him back, perhaps Elena lied to him and let Katerina believe she was indeed successful in killing the young Gilbert. _And he had seriously left Katerina for this._ It angered him even more, though the reason for his revenge was solely about his brother, it should only be about him.

He had them locked up in a room for three days without letting them know who was behind all of this. He let them have food and something to drink, the young Gilbert was a human after all and he wasn't a monster - he was at least not into starving a human. He just wanted to make sure that there was no vervain in their blood.

* * *

After those three days, he had revealed himself. He had to admit he had enjoyed their fear. They were defenseless, weakened. They deserved death for what they had done to Kol, they deserved to have their hearts ripped out. But that would be merciful and he didn't exactly feel like being merciful or forgiving. He intended to let them suffer more than just a few moments. Preferably an entire lifetime. In addition, he wasn't keen on risking the hunter's curse if he killed Jeremy.

That's why he compelled each of them and with the help of his witch, it would be a permanent compulsion that wouldn't lose its effects if he gets neutralized. He made them forget that the other sibling is alive and he made them feel the sorrow, the pain of losing the entire family for eternity. Every day they would be reminded that they are alone, that their family is dead because of them. They would never know the happiness of having a family ever again. In addition, as a precautionary measure, he had also compelled Elena to kill herself if any of her friends decided to go after his family again, knowing that she was the weak spot of the Salvatore brothers.

However, ever since he had returned to New Orleans, he had felt nothing but exertion. The city which once belonged to his family hid more challenges than he thought. Taking back what belonged to his family and simultaneously protect Niklaus's unborn child needed all of his attention, all of his time. He barely found time for himself without anyone disturbing him. He barely felt like his mind could rest for a second.

If he didn't worry about his family's future or about the city, his mind wandered. He would probably never forget the hurt in Katerina's eyes when he had met her the last time. It haunted him to this very day, even though he apologized for the mistakes he had made. It didn't matter. He knew he can only forgive himself if she absolves him from his mistakes.

He also knew she needed time and he really hoped that time would help. He'd say he is patient, uncomplaining. With her, however, it was different. Just a few days after departing, he longed to see her, to hear her voice. He wasn't delusional, he knew he probably won't see her anytime soon. However, the thought of being within her reach was very tempting. If it weren't for his word he gave her, he might have even done it.

After three months he found himself checking his phone more frequently. He knew that she wouldn't call him after such a short time but he wouldn't take the risk of missing a call or a message from her.

In order to distract him from the woman who managed to catch his attention without being even present, he focused all his energy on reclaiming his brother's throne. It kept him from becoming insane, even though he continued to check his phone in private every morning and evening.

Perhaps he seemed to be too dedicated to his aims, too ambitious with helping Niklaus. Perhaps he wanted too much. It was enough to trigger his brother's paranoia, leading him into doubting his value in Niklaus' mission. Yet again Niklaus betrayed his trust when he shoved the dagger into his heart and everything went black.

Four months later he awoke.

It took every inch of control in him to not be consumed by anger about what his brother has done. How he betrayed him yet again despite him devoting every free minute of his existence to Niklaus cause. The only person who stopped him from doing what he gladly would have done - coming after Niklaus and punch him - was his sister.

During his absence, Rebekah had decided to join their family in New Orleans, even though the only reason she did so was because of him not returning her calls. Seeing Rebekah for the first time in months relaxed him, although his vengeance against Niklaus was not forgotten. It was actually rather sad that Niklaus still didn't believe that family and love were powerful things.

Right after feeding, showering, and getting dressed so he was presentable again, he unplugged his phone from the charger. He almost didn't dare to turn it on, afraid that he had missed _her_ call. It's been seven months since they have departed. Seven months since he heard her voice last time, seven months since he had last seen her.

Even though seven months were nothing for a vampire, especially not for someone as old as Katerina it was definitely enough time to make up her mind. What if she indeed was ready to forgive him and tried to call him? And he, being daggered, was unable to answer? He knew she wouldn't try to call again. She would fear he rejected her yet again, would think he didn't want her. She would think he had played her and his declaration of love was just another lie she surely heard often in her lifetime.

He couldn't stand that thought. It made him angry, almost wrathful. About everything, about Niklaus but mostly about himself. If he hadn't treated her so disrespectfully in the first place, he wouldn't have found himself in the situation he was in now.

Nevertheless, he had to turn his phone on, despite being afraid there was a missed call, a message from her. He poured himself a glass of whiskey and took a sip, his eyes never leaving the screen. It was pathetic how afraid he was of a cellphone. He hated the way that little device managed to have power over him. His heart sank when his home screen showed him several missed calls and messages.

He emptied his glass and finally took a seat while going through his notifications. Fortunately, most of the calls and messages were from his sister. However, there were a few unknown numbers who had called him. He could identify all but one number as simple callbacks. One was a tailor he had requested before he was daggered, one was a company where he had ordered some things for their new residence, and so on. The last unknown number, however, was a number he hadn't seen before. It was not a callback.

He felt almost nervous when he dialed that number. That nervousness was so strong, it let his heart beat faster. What if that was Katerina? What if she was ready to forgive him and he had failed her again? He knew he won't get another chance. She'd be lost forever. He closed his eyes and run a hand over his face, his free hand grabbed the empty glass tightly but not too tightly to burst it. The phone rang and rang and with every rang, he tensed a little bit more. Until finally someone released him.

It was almost like the universe tried to mock him. It was a cold call, someone who tried selling him something no one needs. Part of him was angry that he wasted his time with such nonsense, but the greater part was relieved it wasn't Katerina who had called him. Though that meant she still isn't able to forgive him.

He exhaled and ran his hand through his hair, despite being set to sleep for months, he felt tired. He got up and poured himself a new glass of whiskey when he heard a knock. To be honest, he wasn't in the mood for a talk and he really hoped it wasn't Niklaus who wished to speak to him, but he can't hide forever. He took a deep breath.

"Come on in"

He leaned against the bar and let a hand slide into his pocket while taking a sip of his glass. The door opened and to his relief, it was Rebekah who joined him.

"Elijah, is everything alright?"

He could see the worried expression on her face and he knew it was his fault. Usually, he would go right back to business after being daggered, but this time it was different.

"I didn't wish to worry you, dear sister. I just needed time for myself."

He forced a little smile on his lips, even though he wasn't feeling like smiling. Oddly enough the hours after being undaggered were the first hours in months he actually had for himself. He had thrown himself into work in order to distract himself from thinking about Katerina. _And what did he get in return? A dagger through his heart._

Rebekah closed the door with a sigh.

"Nik is a bloody fool for betraying you. But he'll do it again. I'm leaving, Elijah, and I suggest you do the same. It will do you no good if you stay here. Come with me"

He lowered his gaze and slowly shook his head. Even though Rebekah was right and he would be better off if he leaves, he just couldn't do it. Despite being angry with Niklaus for what he has done, he still needed to stay. His brother needs him, as well as his unborn niece. He stepped towards his sister and hugged her.

"I wish you find the happiness you're searching for, Rebekah. But I can't leave, even if I wish to do so. Niklaus needs me, even though he won't admit it."

Rebekah tried to change his mind but she knew it was pointless. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and let her go.

_xxx_

Two days later he was back into his 'old self', He knew he wouldn't be to anyone's use if he kept thinking about his brother's betrayal and about how he is probably doing it again in the future. He also needed to do something in order to keep that particular sting away from him, which kept hunting him ever since figuring out Katerina hasn't yet called him.

Fortunately, there was still a lot to do and a lot he could wrap his mind around. The witches still weren't cooperative. There was something in the air ... he could almost swear they would soon find an unpleasant surprise coming to their family.

He was sitting in the living room, reading through his mother's grimoire. He knew they needed a witch who knows about all the little secrets of the french quarter and luckily, he had managed to find a witch who was willing to help them. In return, he agreed to help the young witch with her powerful magic. Despite being descended from a powerful witch-line, he never embraced his magical powers. Finn and Kol were quite dedicated to practicing magic but he never was. Back then, he was rather out in the woods, training his sword-fighting skills. He didn't regret it because even though he never did magic by himself, he had great knowledge about it.

"Reading old grimoires won't help us solve the vampire problem."

Elijah looked up, his gaze followed Niklaus as he took a seat right in front of him.

"We need to get to the core reasons of the problems. Additionally, it would help if you didn't cause more problems and stop offending those who haven't picked a side _yet_."

Elijah dropped his gaze and looked back at the grimoire, therefore ending the talk. At least that is what he wished to do.

"You're still angry about your timeout? And here I thought my gifts would bring you some joy. Were they not to your taste?"

Without looking up, the Original flipped the page before he answered. He remembered his gifts too well and it was rather messy to get them away.

"Dropping compelled, bloodstained girls in front of my door isn't exactly what I consider as a peace offering. I won't feed on them. I would really appreciate it if you accept that"

He heard Niklaus standing up and felt shortly afterward a pat on the back. He finally looked up, staring right into Niklaus's eyes, showing him no sign of forgiveness for what he had done to him.

"Alright then, take your time. I'll be in the attic so I won't cause any drama to your precious plans"

The Hybrid didn't even try to hold back his mockery. Elijah, however, just ignored it and gave his attention back to the grimoire until he finally found what he had been looking for.

The following day he found his way to the young witches' quarters in order of fulfilling his part of the deal. He knew it won't be done with just one page. Nevertheless, he intended to keep his promise of helping the young witch with her magic.

However, after he visited again after three weeks, things have changed. Her once shiny eyes went dull and she didn't smile anymore.

"Should I leave?" he suggested, fearing the young witch wasn't in the mood for practicing a new spell.

"How can you stand by your brother's side if he drags innocent beings into his war?"

Davina asked, her voice cold. Elijah wasn't Klaus, but nevertheless, he was the same monster. Helping her only to get a benefit from her. A monster who feeds on innocent beings.

Elijah knew immediately that something has happened, something with involved Niklaus.

"What has my brother done?" he asked with a serious voice. All of his features hardened, knowing that Niklaus once again seemed to have destroyed all of his efforts of bringing peace into their home.

"He poisoned Tim. And he tried to poison me too because I haven't picked a side. Tell me, Elijah, how can you stand on the side of someone who just rips people's happiness away, who kills mercilessly because he doesn't accept other people's choices?"

Despite being desperate, her voice didn't grow loud. Sometimes the quiet things are the noisiest. She didn't felt like shouting or crying, she already did this the days before. Now she just wanted to understand why someone who agreed to help her, someone who didn't force her to do anything she didn't want to do despite needing a favor from her, could still continue to defend a monster.

Elijah didn't know about Niklaus's latest actions. He had successfully tracked down vampires who conspired against his family and ended them. He didn't know about his brother's actions against the young witch who was supposed to help them. He couldn't even find an explanation on why he did so, why he destroyed everything he built up in the last weeks. He knew that they needed a witch who would side with them, not against them. Now Niklaus has reached the exact opposite.

"I'm sorry for your loss. I know how it feels like to have a loved one ripped away from you without being able to save said person" he was referring to Katerina who he had lost centuries ago because he wasn't able to convince Niklaus to spare her. Even now she was gone because of his loyalty towards his brother who keeps pushing him and his efforts of redeeming him away.

"It's my disease of wanting to believe my brother can be saved and I still believe his unborn child will give him the peace he needs. Call it blind loyalty if you want," he didn't expect her to understand. Family was important to him, now as ever before. Niklaus had many flaws but he was still his brother, still his family.

Nevertheless, the young witch was just a child. A child with enormous powers but still a child. As well as Timothy was. A human, who wasn't involved in the supernatural world and whose only fault was to fall in love with a powerful girl. It was wrong and Niklaus should have known this.

"I assume you know our agreement is over. It's not because of you Elijah. You are actually one of the polite vampires I have ever met. But I can't help you anymore. Not after what your brother has done"

Elijah knew it was pointless to try to convince her to help them. He let her have the page with the spell as some sort of apology and left. As he walked through the city he couldn't help but think about the young girl who was already burdened with loss. It kinda reminded him of Katerina who too was burdened with loss while being quite young. Both of them were valuable, too. He only hoped that Davina wouldn't end like Katerina. He didn't wish for her to suffer the same cruel fate as his Katerina.

▬ x ▬

"NIKLAUS? WE HAVE TO TALK!"Elijah shouted upon his arrival at home. He took off his jacket and folded it before placing it over a chair back.

"What's with all the shouting? We have supernatural hearing. Do you want to wake the neighbors?"

Elijah turned around and put one hand into his pocket. This was hardly the time for making jokes, he wondered if Niklaus was aware of that. He pointed at his brother, making sure he knows exactly that he had meant him.

"Could you have the decency to explain why you threatened the only witch who was willing to help us? Why you try so desperately to destroy every progress I - we - made?"

Because to be honest, it was beyond his understanding.

"You either side with us or against us. There is no middle ground. Better kill everyone who is a possible danger to our family, to my unborn child, than having to bear the consequences. I thought you would know that much, brother"

Elijah sighed and grew quite frustrated with Niklaus.

"Do you understand I was working on getting her trust? Are you getting so delusional to destroy every possible chance for our family? This isn't a game. If you want your child to be saved, we need allies, not enemies. And right now we have lost one possible ally to our enemies."

Klaus rose his eyebrows because he couldn't bring himself to agree with Elijah. They needed allies who are loyal to them only. If they manage to talk someone over, the enemy is able to do the same. Elijah was obviously a hopeful fool, he rather takes those matters into his own hands.

"You know, there is always the possibility to just kill them. Witches are nothing without their elders. They've proofed already too many times they don't want to be on our side. They continue to disrespect our family while threatening us. If you want to end those witches being a threat to us, we have to take action against the ones being in command."

Elijah tried to avoid solving the witch-problem like this. Killing the elder would destroy the balance of power but it would be to his family's advantage.

"If we are about doing so, we need someone new in command. Someone the witches will accept and someone who accepts our claim on the city"

Klaus nodded, agreeing with Elijah for once. He has already thought about that problem, but he might have already found a solution everyone is going to be happy with.

▬ x ▬

Just two weeks later it was done. Apparently, it wasn't the present witches who caused the problems. It was just one corrupt one who decided on turning the other witches against them. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough. Someone had used the ashes of their mother to get more power and as it turned out it had always been their mother who was behind all those claims that Niklaus's child would be dangerous a threat. They had to do everything in their power to stop that madness and fortunately, they had succeeded.

Elijah loosened his tie and tried to ignore his bloodstained button-down shirt sticking on his skin. He unbuttoned his collar and threw his blood soaking handkerchief away - it was beyond repair.

"I'm stepping away for a few days" he announced, he had to get away from New Orleans for a bit. He felt tired and that wasn't only because he hardly found sleep in the past weeks. He had worked around the clock: Helping Niklaus prepare the nursery, defeating the rebelling and conspiring witches, ripping hearts from treacherous vampires, making plans for the future, and checking his phone in hope of receiving a message or a call from Katerina. If he could grow gray hair, he probably would have had many by now.

"You can't leave now! I need you. The baby can come in the next two weeks."

"I've said I need a few days off. I'm not going to disappear for weeks. I won't miss the chance of witnessing the birth of my niece."

He tried to calm Niklaus down, annoyed by his demanding voice. He wasn't in the mood for a discussion, he wanted a shower and leave as fast as possible. The hybrid seemed to consider his words and finally nodded, leaving Elijah alone.

He wasn't sure where he wanted to go, he just knew that he wanted out of New Orleans. He drove around for hours because driving helped to clear his mind. His body relaxed and he finally felt like he could breathe for the first time in a very long time. He parked his car on a forest road and decided to go for a walk. Eventually, he came across a meadow, and even though it wasn't anything special, he suddenly felt a strange pull while watching the wildflowers swaying in the breezes. Suddenly he knew exactly where he wanted to go, where he would find the salvation he was looking for.

It took him two hours until arriving at the next airport and compelling himself a flight to NYC. Usually, he would book his tickets like a decent being but right now he had no time left to lose, he needed to go to a special place. A place where he once was happy.

**`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.· 4 years after Katherine's departure `·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·**

"Can we talk, Elijah?"

Elijah lifted his gaze and looked at his sister. Rebekah had returned back home after spending some more time in Europe. Ever since then she lived with them and took great joy in being an aunt. It was the closest thing to a baby of her own and he was happy that his sister finally seemed to be truly happy and in peace with herself.

"Of course. Is Hope already asleep?"

He asked, knowing that Rebekah loved bringing her niece to bed. Sometimes, Niklaus and Rebekah even fight about who is having the honor. To be fair he couldn't deny the effect Hope has on him too. If he didn't bury himself with work in order to distract himself, he spends his time with his niece. He played the piano for her, told her stories, and played with her, even though that often destroyed his expensive suits with mud or felt pens.

"Yes, she is. Sleeping like a perfect angel." The blonde took a seat and watched over the books which were lying on Elijah's desktop, wondering what he tried to find.

"Do you want a drink?" he asked his sister and when she nodded, he got up and poured them two glasses of whiskey, handing one of the glasses to the blonde.

"What is it that you want to talk about?" he asked, closing the books and placed them back into the bookshelf. He always preferred tidiness.

Rebekah took a sip of the glass, not entirely sure how she should begin.

"I've noticed you're...you're absent, Elijah. I thought you're just in a mood, but you're like this for months. Perhaps even longer. I would have noticed sooner but you are really good at hiding your feelings. I'm worried, Elijah. Perhaps you wanna talk?"

His jaw tightened, unwilling to show the blonde she was indeed right in her assumption that something was wrong. She just couldn't figure out what was wrong. They have regained back their home, they lived in peace. Hope grew up perfectly and Nik was in a good mood for most of the time. She knew he took a liking to worry too much but in her opinion, there wasn't anything to worry about right now.

"I'm alright. You don't have to worry"

It was a lie, but he didn't want to burden his sister. She was happy and she deserved feeling that happiness. She shouldn't have to worry about her older brother. If anything, it was his responsibility to make sure his little sister felt alright.

Rebekah frowned, not buying Elijah's words.

"Are you sure? You burry yourself with work and you don't really go out. Remember the times you used to show off your suits at balls?"

Elijah couldn't help but chuckle, knowing that his sister intended of making him laugh.

"I'm not showing off my suits. If anything I'm an example of a properly-dressed man. Some would do well to draw some inspiration from me."

The blonde smiled, relieved to know Elijah hadn't lost his sense of humor. Perhaps there is hope after all.

"And I do go out. Perhaps we just don't have the same taste in soirées."

Rebekah rosed an eyebrow because she didn't think that his lack of having fun - even though he was never really the type who could just enjoy something - was caused by having a different taste. Sure, she loved to attend wild parties, go shopping, or having 'girl-time. Things Elijah wouldn't enjoy for sure. Nevertheless, they used to dine together, attend balls and visit theatres, present themselves to the public.

"I've noticed many times that you seem lost in thoughts when going through the streets of New Orleans. We have a chat, you and I, and suddenly you tune out. It's like you forget where you are or that I'm here. Just to snap back to reality a few moments later."

Elijah took a deep breath and a huge sip of his drink, before closing his eyes and massaging his eyelids. He felt like he had a headache and he wished that his sister wouldn't be so attentive. He had tried to control that ... behavior of his in the last months but it only got worse. It already had gotten to the point that he felt like he was hallucinating.

…/…

_"I think Hope already grew out of her clothes again. Time for new attire. Fortunately, the new season starts next week so I can buy her everything which is fashionable. She will look like a princess"_

_Elijah couldn't help but smile and shake his head at the same moment. His sister already bought three bags full of new clothes for their niece and yet she wanted more._

_"Are you making an advantage of me accompanying you to carry your bags?" he asked, finding the situation already entertaining. "You know I'm only accompanying you because you promised to continue bothering me if I refuse." his sister had a way of getting what she wanted and if he wanted to find peace he had to grant her wish._

_"You are her uncle, you should be interested in what she is wearing. Just think..."_

_He hasn't heard the rest as someone caught his attention. His gaze rested upon a dark curly-haired female, wearing high heels and a leather jacket and for one moment, the world seemed to stop. His heartbeat rose and his eyes widened. It couldn't be, could it? Katerina? He squinted only to find out that said woman looked nothing like his Katerina. She was far shorter than the fivehundred-year-old vampire._

_"... in a matching dress."_

_Rebekah had finished her speech but he had missed the middle part. He blinked again and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down and turn his attention back to Rebekah._

…

That memory came up to his mind and unfortunately, it wasn't the only time. He had started to see _her_ over the past 15 months. Although it had never been _her._ New Orleans was filled with tourists, new people flowing through the streets every day. Sometimes he caught the sight of a dark curly-haired female and he couldn't help but think it is his Katerina. Sometimes he would follow the woman, wondering if it is her, because he couldn't tell anymore as his mind continued to play tricks on him. One time when he took a walk through the quarter, a familiar scent had hit him, a perfume she used to wear. He was 100% certain it was Katerina without even considering that someone else could use the same perfume. He had tracked the person down only to find out she didn't even look like Katerina.

He wasn't a fool, he knew she would never come to New Orleans, at least not as long as Niklaus was in town. He doubted she would search for him anyway, believing she would prefer to make a call or message him. She has always been very cautious, she would never take the risk to be in his brother's reach.

Nevertheless, his mind continued to play tricks on him, making him believe he caught a glimpse of her, which got his hopes up. He even called her name once because he thought he had seen her.

It was actually terrifying how powerful his mind was when it comes to her. She was in his thoughts and even though he tried to distract himself, he couldn't help but think of her.

Elijah looked at his sister again, trying to hide his memories behind a stoic mask.

"It happens that I thought I've seen someone in the crowd. A ghost of the past, if you will"

Rebekah frowned because she didn't believe he just saw a ghost of the past. Actually, it's almost like he hoped to see someone like he waited for someone.

"And then there is the thing with your phone. There is a spark in your eyes when it starts to ring, an excitement. But it is gone the minute you know who it is. If I wouldn't know better I'd say you are waiting for someone to call. Perhaps it's even connected with the people or person you think you see in the streets"

She was aware it's an awfully big assumption - out of all people Elijah was the one who didn't let people in. He had always minded his own business, even though that meant pampering Niks ass most of the time. He was beyond calm and it never really seemed like someone could disturb his calmness for more than a few days if anything. But this strange behavior lasted for months and he tried really hard to cover it up. There were just minor things that seemed to be off. She didn't think anyone would notice it if they weren't paying attention and didn't know him as she did.

And she could tell she was right. She could see it because he tensed and there was something in his eyes that she couldn't exactly describe. Longing? Fear? Pain? Perhaps all of the above?

Elijah was surprised by his sister's analysis. He hadn't felt watched, nevertheless, Rebekah witnessed more than he intended to show. He thought about keeping silent, but that would be a childish reaction.

"Seems like you're watching those detective stories again? Anything else?" he asked and tried to play it off with humor, even though he knew that Rebekah wouldn't let this leave alone.

"One year ago you started to play the piano more frequently. I know you play it for Hope and I know she loves it. Sometimes, however, you play just to yourself. I don't mind it, you're gifted. It just strikes me that it's almost always the same song - the Moonlight Sonata. Sometimes you vanish to NYC and come back two days later without any comprehensible reason. You say you have business there but I don't really believe you."

Elijah kept silent and emptied his glass. He wasn't aware that he played the same song when he thinks he is alone. Playing the piano relaxed him and allowed him to clear his mind. He enjoyed it because he felt better when he did so, it calmed him. He hasn't really thought about it before but he did now. There was a reason why he seemed to prefer to play the Moonlight Sonata. It was a masterpiece without a doubt, but it wasn't the only reason.

He remembered that Katerina once told him that she enjoyed the Moonlight Sonata. _» It's full of surprises. It starts off slowly, sounding sad and melancholic. Some might say it's easy to master. And it is easy to master. However, it saves the best for the last. It gets happier in the second part and only a true master can play the third part. The Moonlight Sonata fools the listener. It appears to be weak but in reality, it is a beast not everyone can tame. «_ That statement had surprised him because he didn't think she would enjoy classical music. On that evening he found out that Katherine still had depth, that she didn't just care about herself. Someone who only cared about herself, a shallow person, wouldn't describe a classic composition like that. They would say it's boring or would just hear the music without feeling any meaning or emotion behind it. But she did. They have talked that evening a lot about music and he had found out that she also enjoyed The Four Seasons, especially Vivaldi's 'Summer'.

"I enjoy classical music. And I do have business in NYC, a small company which needs my attention."

It wasn't even a lie. He had taken a holding in a small company - even though it was just a disguise in order to justify his trips to NYC.

"Oh come on Elijah. I'm not some dumb douchebag. Who is the bloody fool who dared to break your heart? I'm going to drag her here so you can stop being moody."

She was done playing that game of his. It was obvious that he wasn't alright, that something was off. It was female intuition. And she would bet that it has something to do with a girl.

Elijah leaned back, knowing that he didn't have the chance to deny it.

"Rebekah, please. You won't do such a thing, do you understand?"

There was a determination in his voice that won't allow a discussion. Which meant that she was right and this girl must be important.

"Who is she? Do I know her? She must be pretty special if she manages to get into your mind. I thought I won't live long enough to see that happen."

She smiled because it was rare that Elijah Mikaelson was in love. Even though it was odd that she didn't seem to be interested in him. Her brother was charming, had manners. He was a gentleman, a man who was hard to find these days. Why would anyone want to reject him?

"It's none of your business," he replied a bit too cold. He really didn't want to speak about her, not with his sister. He knew that Rebekah despises Katerina, he knew she would kill her within the blink of an eye. There was really no need to share the information on who his love interest was.

"Fine. Perhaps Nik provides me with information." she had an evil smile on her lip and stood up. She knew she would get the information she wanted, even though she would never talk to Nik about something like that.

"Sit!"

Elijah has also gotten up and there was an authority in his voice that made Rebekah stop her movements and sit back down. Apparently, it was serious.

He knew his sister would never run off to Niklaus. Nevertheless, he couldn't take the risk of him finding out about his unsuccessful love affair. It would only rip open old wounds. He paced around, not knowing what he should do. Eventually, however, he decided to tell her. It was the safest option. Perhaps his sister could understand it. She, out of all, was the one who clung to the idea of love. In addition, he knew that Rebekah wouldn't stop trying to find out.

"Promise me, give me your word you'll be silent about it. If you really want to grant me some sort of happiness in the future, if you really love me as your brother, you won't tell anyone. Do I have your word?"

He had stopped pacing around instead he leaned against his desk, right in front of Rebekah who was clearly surprised by her brother's reaction. _Who the hell was the woman if he reacts like this?_

"I promise, Elijah, you have my word."

He believed his sister, knowing that she won't tell anyone. She loved him and didn't want him to get hurt. He took a deep breath before he said _her_ name.

"It's Katherine."

Rebekah gasped for air. Katherine as in _Katherine Pierce_? Was he serious? Had he lost his mind?

"That cheap slut? Are you insane, brother?" she snapped, not believing he had fallen for her again.

"Rebekah! Lower your voice and don't ever call her that again. Is that understood?"

The blonde jumped off her chair, glaring at her brother. He must have lost his mind. Perhaps he was a clone? She couldn't imagine that he had fallen for her again, that just couldn't be.

"She already ruined our family once. Do you want that to happen again?" her voice was a low hiss, "She is playing you, don't you understand? I can't believe you fell for her again. I can't believe you're being moody for months because of her! You must be crazy."

"If you stop acting like a child, I could explain to you. She doesn't play me, as you call it. In fact, I haven't seen or heard anything from her for years."

Rebekah stopped her rage, now skeptical raising an eyebrow. He hadn't seen her for years and still has feelings for her?

"That doesn't change the fact that she is a bloody traitor that only brings harm to our family" she crossed her arms in front of her chest and raised her chin a little bit.

"Careful now, Rebekah. I assume you have already forgotten your relationship with that Donovan boy? The same one who took part in killing Finn? I as well can call him a traitor."

His voice was calm but there was an anger in his eyes which made her slow down her temper. Elijah didn't get angry easily and she didn't want to push it.

"I'm sorry."

Elijah had a point. She shouldn't judge him in his choice of woman. In fact, he was the one who encouraged her into giving Matt a chance, because he had seen he made her happy. And if Katherine makes him happy... no, she didn't like the idea, but she just wanted her brother to find happiness too.

Rebekah took a breath, "If you haven't seen her in years, why are you acting like this? I thought you broke up?" her voice was softer now, more understanding. Her brother suffered and there had to be a reason for it.

Elijah pinched the bridge of his nose. "Back then when she gave me the cure, she let me decide where our relationship is going to go. I - I was a fool. I believed she was playing and using me and when she begged me to stay, I just .. left her behind. I broke her heart and I didn't even realize it. More so, I denied my feelings for her. 4 years ago I've met her again, and only then I realized the damage I have caused. I finally understood that our feelings were mutual and I've destroyed it. I still would have gone to New Orleans, but I should have handled it in another way. I basically dumped her, I didn't give her the chance to work things out. I treated her badly and I begged her for forgiveness. Ever since then I'm waiting for a call, a message, anything. I love her, Rebekah. But I've lost her, again."

Rebekah was touched by his statement. She didn't know how deep he felt for her. She doubted Katherine's feelings, yes, but she just knew Elijah's feelings were real. He already waited four years for a simple message - he tries so hard to cover up his misery. He loves her and she felt sorry for him because he suffered so much. The blonde couldn't help herself but pulling him into a hug.

They hugged for a while. It felt good to talk to someone because it was eating him up. He kept it a secret, he suffered in silence. He never allowed himself to let his guard down, but right now he could. At least a little bit.

"If she is smart, she's going to call you eventually. Women are stubborn, I know that. I think everything will be fine. It says a lot that she wants to forgive you eventually, I would take that as a good sign. Don't give up."

_xxx_

His talk with Rebekah has eased him, he felt better. He found new strength. He even slept better, the nightmares didn't haunt him like they used to.

They started two years ago. One night he began to dream about her. The dreams started in a good way but always ended badly. The memory of her tormented him because his dreams always showed him the same cruel things. The scared and hurt look in her deep brown eyes, the way she feared him. She always said the same words, over and over again: _»You threw me away like garbage. You betrayed me. How should I ever trust you again?«_ It made him wake up in the middle of the night, breathing heavily. Sometimes he was so caught up in his dreams he continued to mutter 'Forgive me' after waking up. He knew it was a way of his subconsciousness to show him the remorse that he carefully had locked away. Subconsciousness and remorse could be a terrible combination.

However, he bore it in silence. He deserved it because those dreams only showed him the truth. That he didn't keep his word, that he had treated her badly. If he had given her the chance to explain herself and chose to listen, if he had not believed a lie he had told himself, none of this would have happened.

Nobody ever had those effects on him. Perhaps he was a love-sick fool but he couldn't help the strong feelings he had for his Katerina. And yet he let her down way too many times.

A few months after the dreams had started, he started to get haunted by her during the daytime too. He sometimes mistook someone for Katerina if they shared just a slight resemblance to her because he longed to see her. He missed her so much, that his mind went crazy if he just smelled the perfume she used to wear.

He knew he was being pathetic. It was pathetic, especially for an Original. He wasn't supposed to feel that way, to fall in love. But he couldn't help himself. He let her in. He doesn't let people in. She is a part of him and it drove him crazy that he didn't know where she was if she was safe and okay.

Katherine is able to take care of herself, he knows that. She doesn't need him but he needed her. More than he had thought. He needed her and he prayed to God that he didn't have to wait for much longer. If it wasn't for the word he gave her, he would have already started to search for her ages ago.

He never gave up his hopes, though. Despite everything, he tried to stay positive.

Sometimes, when he was by himself and feeling sentimental, he sat down and allowed himself to think about her. He only had one photograph of them. If Katerina wasn't so stubborn back then, he wouldn't even have one. He remembered how she basically dragged him into a photo booth. They had a night out in NYC and were about to go home when she had spotted that...well...thing. And he was against it, as he had always found it weird to take pictures in a box instead of using a real photographer. But she insisted on it and he let her have her will. He remembered how she had beamed and that had made him so happy that he had kissed her cheek right at the moment when the photo was taken.

She had given him the picture, later on, saying he should always remember to try new things when looking at it. In fact, that picture was the only thing that remained with him, the only physical proof of their relationship. He hid the picture well, so no one could find it. Even though it was just a picture, it was a personal thing that he didn't wish to share. As long as this picture existed, he had proof that they were happy.

And perhaps, if she can forgive him, they will find that happiness eventually again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I really enjoy the relationship between Elijah and Rebekah, it's sweet how they care about each other. What do you think?  
> That chapter also shows that there is a lot underneath Elijah's calm mask. He suffers and is in pain, but he won't let anyone see it.  
> I also hid a little bit of foreshadowing in that chapter, perhaps you can guess what it is?  
> The inspiration of the picture which Elijah has in possession is taken from an actual picture of Daniel and Nina (I think Daniel made it at a Comic Con). If you want, you can look it up.
> 
> Thanks for reading this story. Again, it's an old story of mine and the first fanfiction I ever wrote, hence the flaws and the different style of writing as I won't do much editing of the original draft. I still hope you'll enjoy it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter deals with Katherine after she departed from Elijah and moved to Australia. I struggled with it, so I really do hope you'll enjoy it.

In hindsight going to Australia was the best choice she could have made. She has never been to Australia that long before, so she knew that she wouldn't get bored. She was positive that there were a lot of new things to discover, new adventures. Something which was much needed because it was good to have a distraction, so she didn't have to think about something which had happened in the past.

It was smart to get as far as possible away from that dreadful town called Mystic Falls. If she wasn't near it, she wouldn't think about it and she wouldn't feel those passive aggressions she still held. Oh, if she could she would burn that town with its inhabitants to the ground and throw the ashes into the ocean. Like she said, huge aggressions.

In addition, she also wanted to be as far as possible away from _him_. She didn't wish to see him or hear anything from him or even smell him - even though his aftershave always had a very appealing aroma. She wanted nothing from him. She wanted to forget him. But she had also other reasons to go as far away from him as possible. She also wanted to make sure he was serious about his promise of leaving her alone once she heard him out. And he was. She didn't hear anything about or from him, much to her relief. Perhaps it was because she was far away from where he was supposed to be and he didn't want to make the effort. Whatever it was, she was happy he wasn't a part of her life anymore. He had done enough damage.

Even though he had explained himself and she could understand his reasons to a certain level, she was angry with him. She felt betrayed, lied to. He should have known better. If he hadn't made her feel like garbage, like something unworthy, none of the past would have happened.

But she didn't want to think about it. It happened in a past life and now she had a new one, a new life in Australia.

xxx

* * *

It took her a while to get used to the change. She hasn't really lived in the southern hemisphere, everything was reversed. When it should have been winter, it was summer. Even though winter here was pleasant - it was not as cold as winters in Europe or the US. Yes, she could get used to it.

As already mentioned, she really enjoyed her stay in Australia. Not only because she hasn't really been there before, but she also slowly changed her way of life. One of the major changes was the fact that she started to wear sneakers instead of high heels because it was more comfortable while doing certain things. Not that she would ever turn into a sneaker-person, she loved her high heels, but sometimes they were a disadvantage and had to be replaced.

She remembered the first time she actually wore sneakers after buying one pair because she wanted to climb the Syndey Harbour Bridge. She had gotten herself a guidebook and doing that activity was recommended, that's why she gave it a try. After all, she wanted to make new experiences, right?

To be honest, she kinda regretted it at the beginning. Not because she never felt the need of wanting to climb a bridge before or because she had a fear of heights, it was because she felt uncomfortable while wearing sneakers. _How could anyone want to wear something like that?_ It wasn't attractive and she felt short, but eventually, she was grateful she hadn't chosen her high heels to climb the Harbour Bridge. And it was worth it. The view was breathtaking.

Actually, she liked the view that much, that she had decided to do it again, but at a different time, believing the view would be even greater in the evening when the sunset and one could see all the lights.

That was her first experience with sneakers. She still didn't like it, but she figured that she could change her style. _Be someone new._ She had noticed that it was considered fashionable to wear white sneakers, that's why she designed a new look for her during day time. White sneakers with jeans shorts because she _had to_ show off her legs - she loved to be admired. She also changed the way she wore her hair by wearing more half up half down hairstyles. However, when going out in the evening or at night, she returned to her typical 'Katherine'-style, wearing high heels and darker make-up.

She went out almost every evening. She enjoyed taking drinks at Sydney's best rooftop bars and she enjoyed going to parties until the sun rose. She was a new person at daylight, but the same at nighttime. She also embraced her vampire-nature during the sunless hours, partying with enough alcohol and blood to keep her satisfied. To be honest, she can be a monster at night - her bites were really nasty and fortunately, she was always sober enough to compel and heal the bitten human. Sometimes she was so hungover that she slept the entire day, but that wasn't always the case. Drinking until she passed out wasn't really her style, she rather enjoyed her life.

Trying new things was a part of enjoying life and be someone new. Climbing the Harbour Bridge was just the beginning. She also tried floating above Camden Valley in a hot air balloon. It was the first time she has ever been in a hot air balloon. She has always been skeptical about hot air balloons because you can't control them. The wind can blow you everywhere and she didn't enjoy the thought of landing in a lake or worse, the sea. The experience started at 4 am and she had to drive a few miles until she got to the location. Fortunately, she doesn't mind standing up early, in fact, she has always been an early-person.

And again, the experience was worth it, even though it was cold and she was freezing. It was beautiful to flight across the country and see the Sydney city skyline in the horizon as the sun slowly rose. She wondered why she hasn't tried something like that before. 500 years of living and 230+ years since it was possible to travel in a hot air balloon and she never tried it. She guessed she just hadn't had the time to try. She admits, she never considered trying it as well.

Of course, not every day was as adventurous as the days where she climbed bridges or decided to travel by a hot air balloon. She also enjoyed going through Wendy's Secret Garden, which was a really nice spot, or go shopping at Strand Arcade. She went whale watching and hiking in the Royal National Park and saw beautiful waterfalls and had a delicious human snack while doing a break. She also rediscovered the joy of horseback riding. It's been a while since she last did something like that but when she came across Centennial Parklands, where it was possible to borrow a horse, she suddenly remembered that she used to love to go horseback riding. She even owned a few horses in her lifetime but since cars became a thing and she preferred to live in big cities, horses became nothing but a distant memory.

It's funny how a new place can give you new memories, but can also help to gain back forgotten ones. On that day in Centennial Parkland, she wondered how many more hidden memories she may have, which she forgot about. She might even say, she was feeling a little bit sentimental on this day.

However, that odd feeling didn't last long because she threw herself into new adventures.

▬ x ▬

She has never been a water-person. She hated it if it rained and her hair got wet. Although she lived in several beach houses before, whether they were located at the beaches in Europe or the US, whether it was the Mediterranean Sea, the Atlantic, or the Pacific, she never really took advantage of it. Sure, she enjoyed the sight, enjoyed the sunrises or sunsets. But she never really went into the water.

To be honest, she preferred pools over the sea. Simply because she had more control when being in a pool. The ocean or the sea, however, was wild and untamed - she didn't like the waves which could always splash over her head and therefore making her hair wet. She also didn't like the thought that if anything happens to her while being in the sea, no one would be able to find her. There were rumors that some vampires were sunk into the sea, making them suffer for eternity. A vampire can also not use their speed while being in the water, which was a disadvantage especially for someone like her, a person who's always prepared to flee. As seen, she had good reasons to avoid it.

Ever since her arrival, she took a walk at the seafront every evening. Firstly she did it because she was hungry and wanted to look for a fitting snack. Later on, she noticed that Sydney has really beautiful beaches and special places.

She began to enjoy going swimming. At first, she discovered Bondie Iceberg's Pool, a pool embedded into the ocean. It was a start, a compromise. She later discovered that Bondie Iceberg's Pool wasn't the only protected saltwater pool and when she discovered Bronte Baths, she often liked to take a sunrise swim. She enjoyed the silence, the view. And it was actually good for her skin too, the salt made her skin more soft and glowing.

She took a coastal trek from Manly to Spit and visited beaches which are only reachable on this walk or by boat, therefore they weren't overcrowded, she also discovered hidden beaches on the Hermitage Foreshore Walk. Nevertheless, her favorite spot was still the protected saltwater pools.

As mentioned before, she hadn't really been a water person. But the longer she stayed in Sydney, the more she took an interest in trying water activities too. She tried to do stand-up paddleboarding at Palm Beach, but after mastering it, it was too boring. _How could people do this for hours?_ She needed more action, that's why she decided after a while to try learning how to surf.

She was skeptical at first because surfing was everything she disliked. Being in the ocean with waves big enough to knock her over and the 99% chance of getting her hair wet. But she was curious. And she wanted to start something new. Why not try surfing? She still remembers the talk she had with one of the surfers she had met on the beach, remembers how skeptical she was.

…/…

_"So you actually take enjoyment of getting wet and all salty if you're thrown in the water by some giant wave?" she asked while not really buying it. How is that supposed to be fun?_

_"It's more about learning and knowing what you're able to do. You can't control the force of nature and waves are a big force of nature which can also be pretty painful. But there's no better feeling than successfully riding a wave."_

_Katherine raised an eyebrow. "I'm still not buying it"_

_"Someone once said that waves are not measured in feet and inches, they are measured in increments of fear. You should never stop fearing the ocean because when you're in or on a wave you can't stop it. You can't bail out. It's a challenge between you and the ocean. You can either win or lose, even though I wouldn't recommend losing."_

_He sounded so enthusiastic and somehow the thought of surfing became more tempting._

_"Just theoretical… do you think someone like me could master a challenge with the ocean?" she asked because perhaps she should give it a chance. After all, she wanted a new start, a new life. One will always have a new start if one actually starts with something new, even it was something unconventional such as surfing._

_"Sure. But you shouldn't get your hopes up, you need proper training. And you should prepare to fall in the water a lot. But you don't strike me as someone who gives up easily"_

_"And why would you know that?"_

_"There's passion in your eyes. That's why I know that. Many people who try to learn surfing or anything else don't want to learn it because they want, they do it because they have nothing better to do."_

…/…

Let's say it was a hard way to succeed. But she was ambitious. _No way Katherine Pierce is not able to learn surfing. That's impossible._ And even though she fell into the water a lot, literally a lot, she never gave up. She took all her attention into learning how to surf that she had forgotten everything else. And she liked it!

After several training sessions, after several tries and being thrown into the water, she finally managed to ride a wave, a real, big wave. She was feeling euphoric, really fantastic. At that moment she felt like she could do everything - she defeated a force of nature and that's powerful.

During her training, she also took a liking to her surf-teacher. His name was Henry and even though she preferred dark-haired males, he was attractive. She often flirted with him, seeing it as some sort of game. To her, it was nothing more. Just amusement. Eventually, Henry also turned into her personal blood bag. She favored it if she had a personal blood bag, it made feeding more interesting. It was also easier than finding someone new each time when she felt hungry because she is very demanding when it comes to a neck.

Eventually, however, she got bored and dumped Henry and the idea of surfing. She got bored of Sydney after two years and decided to go traveling around Australia.

▬ x ▬

She saw the Field of Light Uluru installation at Ayers Rock Resort, she explored the Great Barrier Reef - something she wanted to do for quite a time as it was one of the seven wonders of the world. It was also time to visit it because it's very possible that it'll disappear in the future. She also swam with whale sharks and dolphins at Ningaloo Reef, she has seen Uluru, which is a UNESCO World Heritage, and Kangaroo Island.

She stayed in Melbourne for a few months and visited the Twelve Apostles on The Great Ocean Road before returning back to Sydney after one year of traveling.

▬ x ▬

Even though she has enjoyed traveling, something has changed. Despite making many new experiences, despite being able to enjoy herself in the past years, something felt wrong. She felt wrong. It was like she woke up from yet another dream, another facade.

She noticed the change when she woke up in her new modern apartment with floor-to-ceiling windows and was wondering what she was going to wear. Her wardrobe has changed over the past three years, she preferred to wear more casual clothing and practical, yet stylish footwear during the daytime. However, eventually, she wasn't in the mood to look like an average teenager anymore. She went back on wearing lacy tops and high heels. She went also back on wearing lipstick and eyeliner not only when going out at the night, but also when doing daily business.

She didn't go swimming anymore, instead, she preferred to just sunbathe and sipping cocktails at a beach bar.

She knew there was a reason why she felt changed, why she wasn't able to enjoy the things she used to like in the past three years. She knew there was a reason why she felt like she wasn't herself anymore. Yes, she had enjoyed the past years, she had discovered new sides. But it hadn't been truly her. She had invented herself completely new but suppressed some of the parts of her own personality because she wanted to forget about the things which had _hurt_ her.

…xxx…

**`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.· After returning to Syndey `·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·**

"Where should I leave your luggage, Miss?"

Katherine turned around and looked at the concierge who had kindly offered her help with her luggage. This wasn't a hotel, so she hadn't the opportunity to ask the staff.

"Just put it over here," she said and pointed at a place where it wouldn't bother her. To be honest, she didn't really like to unpack all of her luggage. It took too long and she often just preferred to buy something new instead of wearing anything 'old'.

"Hey, can you help me with unpacking?" she asked and took a step closer. If there wasn't any staff to do it, perhaps he could be of service.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but I'll have to return back to my workplace."

Katherine sighed, why must humans always be so complicated?

"It would be really kind of you to help me unpack. I'm sure you have time to put everything in my closets, yes?" she compelled the concierge and grinned when he nodded. She quickly explained to him where she wanted everything to be. "Wonderful. I'm taking a shower."

She enjoyed long showers, that's why she didn't feel the need to rush. She just came back to Sydney after traveling for a year, but she was positive she didn't need long to adapt to having a somehow fixed address again.

When being finished showering, she tucked her body into a nice, fluffy towel and went back to the bedroom where she wanted to pick up her clothes. To her surprise, the concierge was still there.

"May I ask what you're doing here? It shouldn't be so difficult to put my clothes into the closets." she snapped.

"I'm sorry Miss, but I've found something in one of your suitcases and I wasn't sure where to put it." he showed her a white, slightly creased envelope.

"Where have you found that? I don't remember to have packed something like that," she asked, suddenly suspicious. She has been always very careful with everything. Even if it was just something like an _envelope._

"It was in your suitcase lid, actually behind the suitcase lid. It must have slipped underneath the material," he explained and handed her his find.

"Okay, thank you. Now leave and forget you've helped me." she compelled the man and put the envelope on her nightstand before preparing to go out.

She kinda forgot about the envelope during the day. She only remembered it again, when she wanted to go to bed and saw it laying on her nightstand. She was still very suspicious of what it was as she couldn't remember packing it. Perhaps the concierge was compelled by someone else to give her this. Perhaps it was a threat, a warning. She didn't know why, but somehow she felt like she won't like what was in the envelope. She was certain it wasn't a leaflet.

She pursed her lips and was already ready to throw it unopened in the trash can, but decided differently as curiosity took a hold of her. _Perhaps she bought tickets for a show and forgot about it?_ Even though that was very unlikely since she wouldn't forget about tickets she had purchased for a certain date.

Katherine sighed and stared at the white paper before she decided to open it. _How worse could it be?_

To be honest, she expected everything. A threatening letter, a warning, an advertising brochure, tickets for a show, perhaps it was even empty. But she didn't expect the true content.

She was surprised and shocked when she opened the envelope and emptied the content over the kitchen table. It was a series of pictures of her and _Elijah Mikaelson._

She took them and shook her head. That shouldn't be possible. She was positive she burned or threw everything away which had something to do with him. A little bit dramatic, she knew, but she was feeling wrathful back then. Even though she can't remember seeing these pictures again after they moved away from NYC. One picture was missing, she remembered she gifted it to him in order for him to remember the moment.

While looking at them, she remembered that night.

…/…

**`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.· Flashback - Four and a half years ago `·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·**

_"Katerina, are you really sure you want to do this? If you want pictures of us, we can consult a professional photographer."_

_She rolled her eyes and kept dragging him towards the photo booth._

_"Come one, be a little spontaneous. We had a great night out, we look dashing and I really want something to look at in a few weeks or perhaps months. Something to remember."_

_He sighed and she knew she had to use that moment of hesitation in order to get what she wants._

_"I'm not going to beg, Elijah, but it would make me very happy. You want me to be happy, right?" she asked and looked at him with big brown eyes. She was a little bit drunk, but that didn't prevent her from trying to convince him. And luckily, he finally gave in._

_"Anything to make you happy" he replied and smiled when he noticed how happy she was. In fact, she was beaming and instantly glide into the photo booth. It was very small and there was barely room for two._

_"Thank you, Elijah", she was still beaming at him as a result of being squiffy and happy._

_"You're welcome" he leaned in and gave her a kiss when the box took the first picture._

_"You know, we should do something crazy", and before he could protest, she had already placed herself on his lap, her arms tightly around his neck and passionately kissing him. He returned the kiss, much to her pleasure. However, she pulled away. She didn't forget she wanted pictures of them and those shouldn't only show them kissing. She glid off his lap and sat back next to him. However, she couldn't help herself but starting to nip on his neck with her fangs exposed._

_"Katerina!" he laughed while burying his hand in her curls._

_"Don't worry, I won't bite you" she mumbled against his skin, knowing that he wouldn't allow her to bite him. He never did and she accepted it. But she enjoyed the thought of it. She placed a kiss on his neck and pulled away, her vampire features gone._

_They shared another deep kiss before they got out of the photo booth. The pictures which were taken of them were beautiful. She loved them because they looked happy. Even Elijah let his guard down and seemed genuinely happy and relaxed._

_She tore the first picture of the series off and handed it to him._

_"That one is for you, so you'll always remember that it can be fun if you try something new."_

…/…

She frowned when she looked at the pictures. She remembered that she kept her part and clued it to her mirror. However, when she had to move from NYC to a smaller town in Virginia, she had taken them off and put them in her suitcase. She must have overlooked them when she unpacked the suitcase as she never really put anything in the suitcase lid. Over time the envelope probably moved until it slit underneath the material and that's why she hadn't found it until today.

Her fingertips carefully caressed the pictures _. She used to be so happy._ The pictures reminded her of that. She had always felt safe when she was with him, not only because he was an Original, but because he knew her well enough. He always believed -perhaps hoped- that there was more about her than just being the selfish, manipulative person known as Katherine Pierce. He didn't let anyone tell him otherwise. Nevertheless, he didn't push her into anything. He had accepted her as she was, the good sides and the preponderant bad ones.

She put the pictures back in the envelope and bit down on her lip. She hasn't thought about Elijah ever since she moved to Australia. Of course, she had feared he might try to find her, but she had tried her best to distract herself and she was successful in doing so.

Over the passage of the past three years, she had forgotten about him. There was no room for Elijah Mikaelson. But now, after having seen those pictures, she felt an ache in her heart like she missed something - _or someone._

Truth be told after she had put the envelope into a book and therefore out of her sight, she had felt better. That feeling of having lost something important faded away. Nevertheless, that evening was the beginning of her change back to Katherine Pierce as she used to be, even though it was a slow process.

…xx…  
▬

Three years and five months after moving to Sydney, she had started to actually visit the Sydney Opera House. Despite having spent a lot of her time in Syndey before her travel around Australia, she has never been to the Opera House. She visited theatres and listened to classical music. She likes to wear gowns and the only time someone could actually wear an evening gown was when going to the Opera House where everyone was dressed really fancy.

Eventually, she met someone named Dave. He also liked to visit the Sydney Opera House. They've met from time to time until they started an affair. Dave became her new personal blood bag and she really enjoyed feeding on him. He was one of the few men she actually had an affair with in the past three years. Sure, she had fed from many, but there were just a selected few humans she had chosen for sexual activities - even though it never got any deeper than having fun.

The affair with Dave lasted four months and ended in a devastating revelation. She wasn't aware of the _similarity._ She liked that he was so cultivated, she liked that he was always properly dressed. They had a similar taste in food and drink, he liked to go dancing and they both enjoyed going out. He ran a small business, so they often met between meetings in order for her to take a sip of his blood. Ever since she finished her travel around Australia and came back to Sydney, she felt extremely hungry. Like she hadn't feed properly, even though she has. There was a feeling of dissatisfaction after she had bitten someone and she wasn't able to fill that hole with blood.

Ever since she met Dave, the urge to feed got worse. She always had to be very careful when she bit him, because sometimes she felt like she couldn't stop. She didn't know why, but his blood made her feel so good, so euphoric.

That evening they were drinking wine while soft music was playing in the background. They were in his loft and eventually she had asked him if he wanted to dance, even though it wasn't really about dancing. She was hungry and bit him after he got up, carefully drinking from his vein. When she finally pulled away, she didn't see Dave _but Elijah._

Being shocked, she stumbled a few steps back while looking at the human. It was so obvious and she hadn't noticed it. Dark hair, good taste, almost always wearing a suit - he was a spitting image of Elijah.

She managed to compel him to forget everything, including ever meeting her before she left, no, fled from his loft.

Usually, she was able to control her feelings. She didn't let any feelings come in the way. But on that night, feelings overwhelmed her. She was angry, mad, and sad at the same time. She went on a rampage and almost destroyed half of her apartment because on that night she realized that she still missed _him_. _How dare he having such power over her?_

She always knew that she'll forgive him eventually. Forgiveness can be earned. However, she was almost certain that she can't love him or even miss him ever again. He had caused too much damage, too much pain. And yet here she was, having an affair with someone who looked like Elijah. She knew she didn't choose Dave because he was Dave, she was sure that her subconsciousness had been aware of the resemblance. She has just been too ignorant to notice sooner and that made her so damn angry.

She tried to forget him, she tried to hate him. But the more she tried to push the memories and thoughts of Elijah away, the more she couldn't stop thinking about him.

Katherine wasn't delusional. She knew that the possibility of them having a happy ending was pretty low. She knew when push comes to shove, he won't choose her but his family. He wasn't good for her. However, he was everything she wanted to find in a man. He was loyal (if she ignored his daffy devotion to Klaus), he had manners, he was a man and not a boy, he had experience, was strong, and used to make her feel safe. But most importantly, he knew exactly who she was. He didn't try to change her, even though he hoped she would return to her former self one day. He had accepted her and returned her feelings. Well, before he had let her down.

**`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.· Present `·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·**

She had continued to push the thought of Elijah away. She did it the last six months after departing from Dave. She did it because she didn't want him. Because he wasn't worth her time, her feelings, or anything else. But the more she had pushed everything regarding him away, the more she seemed to gravitate towards him. It was like a curse. He was a curse.

It was nothing new that the emotions of a vampire are heightened, but dealing with those extreme feelings, which got stronger and stronger each day, drained her. She just couldn't manage to ignore his existence. Even if she tried to do it, she unconsciously did the things she knew he had enjoyed: Sipping his favorite brand of whiskey or listening to a certain piano piece - the piece he liked to play for her while she listened and drank a glass of wine, admiring his talent. When she saw someone whose tie wasn't knotted perfectly she remembered the times where they were entangled in a hot passionate kiss, only for her to fix his shirt collar and tie after pulling away from him.

She knew she can't fight it any longer, she knew she wanted him back in her life. She longed to hear his voice saying her name. Not Katherine, but _Katerina_. She wanted to look into his beautiful brown eyes which held so much love for her. She wanted him to wrap his arms around her and pull her close. She wanted to make him uncomfortable when she wanted to do something which he considered as 'improper', knowing that he probably would grow to enjoy it. She wanted to hear him play the piano or asking her out for a date. _Gosh, she wanted him in her life so badly_.

However, it was so hard to call him. There was still a part within her that wanted to fight the possibility of getting Elijah back. A part of her that knew just because she wanted him back, that he couldn't be trusted. A part of her that still despises him for what he has done. But there was also the other part who missed him, perhaps even loved him. He left a void in her, a void she couldn't fill with affairs and blood and alcohol. No matter how much she drank, how much fun she had. In the end, it wasn't enough. It may have taken some time to finally realize that fact, but it's the bitter truth. Nevertheless, she continued to fight with herself until she finally wanted to give it a try.

Years ago, he had given her a piece of paper with his phone number. Back then she was too pissed at him to want to store his number into her cell phone. Despite not wanting to call him back then, she placed his number somewhere safe, somewhere where she could easily find it again.

Katherine sighed and got up from her place at her luxury balcony from where she had the perfect view over the ocean. She went inside her apartment and grabbed one of her expensive handbags before pulling out a little box.

It was a special box because it was sealed by a spell so only she could open it. it contained important and expensive things, things which shouldn't land in the false hands such as her passport, ID-card, her favorite jewelry, credit cards - and a folded piece of paper.

She took the paper and closed the box, carefully putting it away. She unfolded the paper and looked at his elegant handwriting. There it was, the number she had to call if she wanted to hear his voice if she wanted to tell him that she had forgiven him. She grabbed her phone and began to tip in the first few numerals.

However, she hesitated. What if he had forgotten about her? After all, his mind usually just circles around his family. What if he had found someone new? It's almost impossible as Elijah seemed to fall rarely in love, but what if he has? She didn't want to make a sap out of herself.

The thought of another woman in his life made her jealous. She imagined how another woman got his full attention, how he kissed her like he had used to kiss her. She imagined him making love to someone else.

A growl escaped her lips and the grip around her phone tightened. As if it was not only worse enough to admit she missed him, she even was jealous about some probably nonexistent woman. "You are Katherine Pierce. Don't make a fool out of yourself," she mumbled to herself, before putting her phone and the piece of paper away and going in the kitchen to open herself a bottle of wine.

Unfortunately, one and later two glasses of wine didn't help to ease her mind. Elijah Mikaelson was still on her mind like a ghost in a haunted castle. Unable to hunt him away. Unable to ignore him. She eyed her phone from her position in the kitchen and pressed her lips together. It was so tempting but at the same time not workable. Did he really deserve her forgiveness? No. No, he should suffer if he actually even still thinks about her. He had already forgotten about her once.

She didn't call him in the next three days either. She was about to call or message him a few times, but she always talked herself out of it at the last moment. Elijah drove her crazy - even though he didn't exactly do anything.

On the fourth day, however, she decided to finally do it. She is Katherine Pierce and she may run from a lot of things, but she won't run from this. It was pathetic and a Katherine Pierce won't be pathetic. Even if he has forgotten about her, even if he had found someone new, she won't be stopped from doing what she wants to do. Even if it's only to let him know she forgave him in order to ease her mind.

At first, she wanted to call him. However, she put that thought away. Calling wouldn't be the best and safest option. Elijah was probably still in New Orleans and therefore with Klaus, she didn't want to take the risk of letting anyone overhear their conversation. Besides, she wasn't sure if his number was still the same, so she went for something unspecific, something which only he could know.

_'It took some time but I'm ready now. Meet me in in three weeks at 8pm at the place you've shown me and where the past and present have collided.'_

She re-read her text before she pressed send. She was aware that she was very vague, but she knows that Elijah will know who had sent this. She would have preferred to meet him sooner, but she had to move back to the US and he was always terribly busy with family-things and probably has to find an excuse to sneak away.

After having messaged him, she felt relieved. Almost happy and excited. With a little smile on her lips, she put her phone back into her bag and went out on her balcony to watch the beautiful sunset.

xxx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Katherine deals very differently with feelings than Elijah. She's the type who won't let feelings eat her and instead does things that are fun & good for her. She's also dealing with feelings more physically while Elijah mentally tortures himself.
> 
> The next chapter contains the Kalijah-reunion. If Katherine and Elijah show up at the said place. ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading this story. Again, it's an old story of mine and the first fanfiction I ever wrote, hence the flaws and the different style of writing as I won't do much editing of the original draft. I'm going to upload the rest in the next few days. I still hope you'll enjoy it


	9. Chapter 9

**`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.· At the same time `·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·**

It was early in the morning when he got up, just like every day. He stayed up way too long, got up too early, and therefore didn't exactly get the right amount of sleep. Even if he did get some sleep, his sleep mostly wasn't really restful, often being unable to shake the images of Katerina off. He still managed to keep going, as sleep wouldn't find him – fortunately, a vampire doesn't need as much sleep as a mortal, anyway.

He didn't really like to make use of the heavy curtains, so he usually finds his way to his bathroom when the first early sun rays lighting up his room, in winter even before that. He showered and shaved, doing the same procedure and morning routine as every day. When he returned from his bathroom with only a towel covering his body, he made his way to his wardrobe, which contained various suits and - how was it called these days? - accessories. He is certain that his wardrobe has a large dimension for a man's standard, but he didn't mind it and ignored his sister's jokes about it as well. A man should always be properly dressed, therefore he had to have a selection of what he is going to wear. He picked a dark blue suit, a white shirt, and fitting cufflinks before he started to dress. When he was finished, he picked a matching tie and belt, closed his jacket, and neatly folded a handkerchief, which he put into his jacket. He checked on his appearance and styled his hair until he was content with his look. It may appear as vain, but he attached importance to his appearance.

Once he was fully dressed, he opened the double-wing door and stepped outside, enjoying the warm sun rays on his skin. His balcony gave him a beautiful view over the French Quarter. He could watch the sunrise and appreciated the quiet environment. New Orleans is always loud, full of music and artists.

* * *

But right now, everything is quiet and still asleep. _Even Niklaus_. Only the birds are singing. Those peaceful moments are rare, so he always chooses to enjoy them. He went back inside but left the double-wing door open, intending to let some fresh air in. He left his room quickly in order to get himself a blood bag, only to return a few seconds later. Despite being a vampire, he had an aversion to biting someone. It isn't uncivilized and he isn't a barbarian. Moreover, he didn't like being strained with blood nor the sound of screaming people. He opened the blood bag carefully and poured its content in a glass before going to his desk and sitting down. Having seated himself, he grabbed one of his books he liked to read in the morning and sipped on his glass, drinking a bit of blood every now and then.

Usually, reading something is a good way to take his mind somewhere else, away from his sorrows, away from New Orleans, and away from _her_. His dreams about her haven't faded away and even tonight she had been present in his dreams like a ghost whose only purpose is to haunt him. Consequently, reading isn't only a good way to start the day, it also helps to stop thinking about those dreams.

He had just finished the third chapter when the buzzing of his phone disturbed the silence. The display of his phone lightened up for a moment, but he ignored it. It was probably just a message from one of his observers, telling him if everything had been okay. It's always necessary to know about what is going on in the city in order to maintain control. However, he wasn't in the mood to be disturbed so early in the morning. He wanted to enjoy the peace for another ten minutes before he'll throw himself into work again. That's why he finished his glass of blood and started the next chapter.

Unfortunately, the book wasn't able to capture his attention anymore, something has changed, he couldn't focus anymore. Something gave him a weird feeling, making him nervous. His heart fluttered and with a quiet sound, he closed his book shut and stood up, wandering around. Out of sudden, he felt restless, strained. Something wasn't right, something was out of place. But what was it?

He went to his balcony and watched the streets, but everything was normal, the first humans began to roam the streets and filled it with life again. He sighed and closed the double wing door. What was it that made him feel so nervous? It certainly hadn't happened before. If he hadn't known better, he would describe the feeling like an invisible visitor who is watching him in his room. But that couldn't be. The compound is protected. He stopped and used his supernatural hearing to check the compound. However, everything was normal. Everyone was still asleep, he could hear the even breaths. That knowledge calmed him a little bit, knowing that his family is safe. Nevertheless, his internal nervousness didn't fade away. It's like he is expecting something to happen like he subconsciously prepares for something. His gaze roamed through his room before it landed on his phone. There has been a message a few minutes ago. Although a simple message shouldn't fill him with unease, right?

He frowned and approached his desk whereupon his phone laid. The first thing he does after he waking up, even before going to the bathroom, is checking his phone (and secretly hoping there is a certain message waiting for him). There hadn't been a single message or notification this morning, so he just assumed that the incoming message was one of his observers. But what if it hadn't been like that? What if…?

His fingertips thumped onto the mahogany surface of his desk, being unsure of what to do, didn't want to make a fool out of himself. Then, however, he slowly reached out for his phone and unlocked it. He tensed when he saw he got a message coming from an unknown number and held his breath when he opened it, a part of him wondering what has gotten into him. His heart was beating faster than normal and his eyes widened when he read the message. And he re-read it again and again.

' _It took some time but I'm ready now. Meet me in in three weeks at 8pm at the place you've shown me and where the past and present have collided.'_

He opened his mouth in shock and sat down, his gaze still lingering at the message.

"Kat-" he mumbled but didn't dare to speak out her name.

Even if everyone is supposed to be asleep, he didn't dare to speak out her name, even though he so desperately wanted to. Katerina. For four years and three months, he hadn't heard a single thing about and from her. He had accepted her wish and let her be, hoping that one day she would forgive him.

Sure, the message did nowhere mention her name. Nevertheless, he was certain that it was her. Not only because she likes to leave cryptic messages, but also because he knew exactly what place she was referring to. It can only be her.

His Katerina.

He couldn't help but starting to picture her. Her warm brown eyes, her beautiful laugh, her rich brown curls. For the first time in years when he was thinking of her, he wasn't haunted by the hatred and disappointment she held for him or by the pain he had caused her. No, all he could imagine was her being happy to see him or rather, her _wanting_ to see him. He didn't know for sure if she is going to forgive him if she is going to give him another chance. Given the location she had chosen, however, he was certain she wouldn't try to stake him. Although he had to be careful to not turn too hopeful. After all, Katerina always managed to surprise him.

His fingertips caressed the touchscreen and for one moment he was tempted to just call her. Finally having the chance to hear her voice again. She wouldn't like it – if she had had a desire to talk to him, she would have called. He has to be patient. What are another three weeks? Three weeks are nothing compared to his lifespan, compared to how long he has already waited for her.

He re-read the message again before finally putting his phone away. The initial nervousness has turned into some other kind of feeling. Anticipation, longing, and happiness. It is childish to describe it as having these famous butterflies in his stomach, but the sensation of meeting her again, of her actually wanting to see him was overwhelming. He found himself smiling, feeling much lighter. It was like one of those heavy things which used to burden him has vanished.

He stood up and placed the book he wanted to read back into his bookshelf. His concentration is gone and it would have been a shame to just skip-read a good book. Instead, he grabbed another book and opened it on a certain page. That's where he had kept the only picture he has in possession of them. Safe and unseen for others, only for him to know. His smile grew brighter when he looked at it, at them. Soon enough she will grace his presence again and this time he won't make a mistake. He won't hold back how much she means to him, how much he loves her if she lets him show his affection. He will not lose her again. If she is willing to give him another chance, he will try everything to make her happy.

He carefully closed the book with the picture inside of it, placed it back, and starting to hum a little melody. His gaze wandered to the piano in his room, the one he intended to keep safe from Niklaus's rage because the piano down the hall tends to get destroyed. He wanted to play it, wanted to fill the compound with music. However, he hesitated. Being very well aware of the fact that his sudden high mood would raise suspicion, he figured it is best if he expresses his good mood in a not-so-obvious way. He reminded himself that he needed to be careful.

Just as he had that thought, he heard steps, soft voices from below. How much time has passed? With a look on his watch, he saw that it was already 7 am. By now, he should be downstairs, helping his sister with Hope's breakfast. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he tried to hide his feelings and returning to a calm, controlled appearance. Even though Rebekah knows about his relationship with Katerina and his longing for her, it's better to not let anyone know. His sister would never tell anyone about it, especially not Niklaus, but it's better to not let anyone have a bargaining chip over him. Things can get heated in this house and sometimes it is possible that things are said out of anger. He wouldn't want to risk it.

Putting on a straight face, he left his room and went downstairs.

„Good morning Elijah" Rebekah greeted him and let her brother kiss her cheek shortly before he placed a kiss on Hope's forehead.

„Good morning sister."

She watched him leaning on the door frame after he had greeted them. She didn't mind his presence and continued to watch Hope eating her breakfast. It's unbelievable how time flies. Elijah watched for a while, placing his hands in his pockets.

„Do you know where Niklaus is?" he asked, causing Rebekah to lift her gaze.

„He talked about getting some paint and brushes. Apparently, he wants to show Hope how to draw." she shrugged,

„But don't ask me where he went to. Why?"

Nik seemed to be in a fantastic mood, so it's better to let him do whatever he wanted to do. In addition, she thinks it's actually cute that Nik wanted to bond with his daughter over a peaceful thing. He had changed ever since Hope was born, even though that doesn't mean he will not lose his temper if he sees so fit.

„Where were you anyway? Don't tell me you overslept."

The thought was rather amusing, given the fact that Elijah is as punctual as a clock. When Hope has finished her breakfast, she took the plate and the child's cutlery and put it in the sink. One of the maids will clean it.

„I received a call coming from my company in NYC. They required my presence for a few days in three weeks," he answered calmly.

A lie, but it was necessary. He needed an excuse to go away for a few days without anyone doubting his agenda.

„Your company. Yeah, I remember. What is your company doing again?" she asked incidentally, ripping off a grape and placing it in her mouth.

„They are involved in the health system, working closely together with hospitals and-"

„Didn't know you have an interest in health care. That's odd for a vampire." but who knows, perhaps her brother has a hidden talent?

Doctor Mikaelson had a nice ring. Not that she couldn't understand it, given she had worked as a nurse during World War I.

„Contrary to popular belief, I don't invest all of my money into my suits." a little smile played along his lips.

He values human life and didn't mind giving money to hospitals and other charities. Perhaps it's questionable for a vampire to do such a thing, but he never intended to be a monster. In addition, he had enough money, why not spend it on something good?

„Ah, really? I think your wardrobe is more expensive than mine" she looked up and down her brother and shook her head, not understanding why a suit can cost so much.

Okay, the same can said about handbags.

„Anyway, can you have an eye on Hope?" she asked because she had to take care of a few things and now Elijah was there, he can make sure their niece is safe and sound. Not going to imagine what would happen if Hope gets hurt or something else.

„I'd love to" he smiled at his sister and watched her heading upstairs before he took a few steps towards his niece.

„What would you like to do, Hope? Shall I search for your pencils?"

He never thought he finds himself on the floor someday, ruining his suit with felt pens. Or rather, let Hope ruin it. Nevertheless, it happened already more than once and he didn't mind it. He'd gladly sacrifice a few dress slacks or shirts. Hope is a gift for this family and he will be forever thankful for the effect she had on him, on Niklaus, and on the family.

However, Hope seemed to have something else in mind.

„Can you play something?" she asked and smiled at him.

„Of course, darling niece."

He helped her get down from her chair before he sat down on the piano which was standing in the entrance hall – the one which had to be replaced every now and then because it got damaged. His fingertips caressed the smooth surface of the piano keys and he couldn't help but smile because just a few moments ago, all he wanted was to fill the house with music and now he actually had the possibility to do that without anyone doubting his intention behind it.

He began playing shortly after, choosing to play _Shastakovitch Waltz No. 2_ but in a light, more alive version - a happy one. His finger flew over the keys, letting the melody flow through the room. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to get carried away for a bit. Only for a few seconds of course, because he couldn't allow himself to get too distracted. Instead, he watched Hope; because he didn't had to watch the keys or sheets of music. He had the notes memorized. When he finished, he was having a huge smile on his lips.

A smile Hope noticed.

„Are you happy?" she asked softly because it's actually rare to see her uncle looking like he's happy and loosened.

„Yes, I am"

▬▬ xxx ▬

**`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.· Three Weeks later `·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·**

There is only a slight breeze, playing with her curls as she was standing on top of a terrace, her hands gripping the railing tightly. She wondered if it has been a good idea. Right now, she doubted it. Yes, she had been excited to see him again. But back then, there was literally an ocean between them and she hadn't been sure if he has even gotten her message. She still didn't know if he had gotten her message and if he even wanted to see her, but she was on the rendezvous point. Waiting. Trying to enjoy the sight over New York City. Although that's almost impossible because she is so nervous. Like mentioned before, there's a difference between having an ocean between them or meeting him in person in less than ten minutes.

Four years have passed, four years since she has last seen him and has basically told him to leave her alone. Four years can be long, even for a vampire - it's possible that he had moved on. It's possible that he has devoted himself completely to his family by now - without even having the possibility nor time for meeting her. She didn't know what she should expect if she should be glad if he won't show up. It would probably save her future problems. Nevertheless, she hoped he would want to see her. She had to ease her mind or she will continue to get bothered by her illusions of him. She wanted to be free and missing him is not a sign of freedom.

Her grip around the railing steadied even more as she closed her eyes and tried to take a deep breath. Since when is Katherine Pierce nervous when she is going to meet a man? The only difference is that he isn't just any man, he is Elijah. Elijah whose fault it was in the first place that she decided to leave the continent and come back four years later - which actually didn't make it any better. The only thought which actually was able to calm her was that she is the one who is in control.

They'll be meeting on her terms and she wasn't dependent on him. Interestingly, it is the other way round this time. She only needed to talk to him and then decide if she can turn the odd feeling of missing him into something else. Elijah, however, is hoping for her forgiveness. No matter how much time has passed and if he still cared about her or not, if he wanted someone's forgiveness he'll try to do his best to get it. She knew he liked to burden himself with things and won't stop until he'll think he redeemed himself. After all, that's the only reason why he continues to stay at Klaus' side.

Five minutes. Time seemed to flow. Her heartbeat increased. She didn't like the feeling deep down which was trying to fight its way to the surface. She was nervous and excited, there was no way in denying that. However, there is also a part in her that hopes for and seeks his presence. A part of her that wanted to be close to him, wanted to smell him, touch him. A part of her that wanted to claim him as hers. Because deep down, she still loves him. No matter how much she's trying to fight that feeling or telling herself he didn't deserve any of her feelings.

▬▬ xxx ▬▬

Elijah has had enough time to organize things - one of the many things he had always admired was Katerina's farsightedness. It would have been difficult if she had asked him to meet her in a day, but she gave him three weeks, enough time to plan his little trip to New York City under the cover of having to attend a business meeting with one of his company's. He had tried his best to cover up his brightened mood in the past three weeks, in which he was successful in doing so. Only his niece seemed to see past the facade he was putting up, but quite fortunately she didn't sell him out.

He had left New Orleans one day before the meeting and drove straight to NYC. He could have chosen a flight, but he decided it was best if he could concentrate on something else if he hasn't too much time to think. He still didn't know why she wished to meet him, she was barely a person who reached out to someone. Naturally, he hoped the best. He also hoped he hasn't misinterpreted the message - he had been haunted by her for the past years which had led to seeing things that aren't really there. Or rather, it led to seeing Katerina even though there was no chance she'll be wandering through the streets of New Orleans. He was afraid that his mind had played a terrible trick with him, but the message was still there the day after having received it and the day after and so on.

Despite having had the pleasure of having a restful sleep in the last three weeks, he couldn't sleep at all the night before meeting her. His mind wandered off a thousand times, thinking of all the possible scenarios. He had made terrible mistakes in the past, especially if it came to Katerina. Perhaps this is going to be the last chance to make things right. He mentally prepared speeches and apologies until he finally had fallen asleep.

The next day has been stressful, mentally exhausting. She wanted to meet him at 8 pm and he had to kill time until the evening. Unfortunately, killing time seemed to be impossible. He couldn't concentrate on a book, he couldn't talk to his siblings, he didn't dare to get lost in another activity, fearing he might forget time. Usually, he had a lot of work to do, it's rare for him to actually have the luxury to have free-time. And yet he wished he could drown himself in work because it would stop him from counting down the hours until he'll see her again.

A part of him was scared she might have reconsidered her choice in wanting to meet with him. A part of him already regretted his decision of not replying to her message. Not that he hadn't wanted to. However, that's the way how they had dealt with it in past. silent assent. He didn't know how often he had smoothened his suit or played with his cuff links the hour before he finally decided to leave his hotel room in order to get to the location. It's a blessing that he always invested in quality, otherwise he would have probably torn out his cuff links by now.

Usually, he likes to arrive a tad tardy, making sure the attention is on him. What did Rebekah call it? A dramatic entrance? Nevertheless, he wanted to make sure he won't let Katerina wait. Furthermore, he didn't want to have to wait any longer either. He wanted, no, he _needed_ to see her. When he arrived at the building on whose roof terrace she is going to wait for him, he'll take a moment for himself. It didn't happen often that he feels something like excitement, yet that is exactly what he felt at that moment. He - a man of one thousand years - felt excited because he is going to meet a girl. And moreover, he wasn't only filled with excitement, but also with a tad of fear, because he did not know what will expect him.

He let his hand glide across his tie, smoothing it before he easily entered the building and then the elevator which will bring him to the penthouse. While the elevator set itself in motion, Elijah looked at the mirrored walls and watched himself. He looked calm and he was very glad that he had mastered the art of suppressing his emotions to the surrounding. Otherwise, the entire world could see how nervous he actually was.

The elevator moved too slow and yet too fast at the same time. Nevertheless, he didn't hesitate to leave the elevator once it has reached its destination. Again, he quickly and easily entered the access to the penthouse, albeit it wasn't that difficult as the door was not locked. There was a part of him wondering why that is - that part, however, was not big enough to distract him from what is going to come. He only assumed that Katerina had already arrived, given the fact he literally had free access. He quickly crossed the luxurious apartment, his eyes set on the open french doors. Light white curtains danced in the slight breeze and the starting setting sunset everything in a golden color. He hesitated for a moment and took in a deep breath.

That's the border that separates him from meeting her, seeing her again. Although he wasn't able to see her yet because of the large size of the terrace, he could feel her presence. She's here, waiting. For him. He glanced at his watch, he's right on time. Another deep breath, smoothing his tie again and then he crossed the doorstep and entered the roof terrace.

Colorful wildflowers bent a little with the wind, the roses which covered the steel pavilion in the middle of the terrace bloomed. Everything was quiet with the exception of the soft sound of a wind chime. He followed one of the paths between the flower beds, being instinctively drawn to a certain spot in the corner of the terrace where one has a beautiful overview over the city. Not long until he finally saw her. _Katerina_. He blinked, making sure his eyes really saw the truth, making sure she is not something his mind had made up to fool him. No, this was reality.

The breeze played with her long dark curls and even though he only saw her backside, she was exactly as he remembered her. Her style hadn't changed, wearing high heels and without a doubt expensive, form-fitting clothes. Elijah was certain she knew he had arrived, yet she didn't turn around so he decided to stop a few feet behind her, his gaze laying on her exquisite frame in a gentleman-like manner. He couldn't help but smile, his eyes lighted up, even though he tried to appear calm, collected even. He yearned to address her, letting his tongue curl around her beautiful name. Katerina.

He hesitated, however, remembering her anger the last time he had called her Katerina. She forbade him to do so and even though he refuses to call her Katherine, he will not provoke her. Nevertheless, he didn't like the thought of addressing her by the anglo version she had chosen as a name. He simply refuses to do so.

Now he had to be careful, almost sensitive with his following words. He had to wait and see in what mood she was, had to figure out the reason for their meeting. He remembered her message, her words. _'It took some time but I'm ready now.'_ She had never said anything about being ready to forgive him, even though he hoped that this was the reason why she wanted to see him. On the other hand, it was within the realm of possibility that she is just ready to throw him over the railing. He'd deserve it, but he prefers the first option.

"It's an interesting place you have chosen for a meeting."

▬▬ xxx ▬▬

Hyper-sensitive hearing had noticed him before he even had set a foot into the apartment. She had heard the elevator moving, had heard the soft 'bing' when the elevator had stopped and opened its doors. Katherine hadn't moved, half expecting him to vamp speed towards her, being almost certain he'd know exactly where she could be to found. Nevertheless, he didn't do it, even though that'd be typically Elijah. He took a liking to appear unexpectedly and out of nowhere. But this time he took his time. Her entire senses were fixed on him, she could hear every one of his slow steps. The closer he got, the more her heart seemed to be jumping out of her chest. He was really there, he really came! Damn it, she thought she was more prepared.

She heard him halting, now almost feeling his presence even though she was certain he was still out of reach. Katherine took a deep breath upon hearing his words, clearly noticing that he remembers everything which had happened here. He could not have forgotten about the history of this place, what it had meant for them, otherwise, he wouldn't be here. After all, she hadn't texted him an address or the name of this place. No, it had been up to him to remember what she had meant, to remember their past. And he did - she took that as a good sign. It actually made her smile a bit - what a good thing he couldn't see it.

However, it didn't help with her nervousness. She took another deep breath, closing her eyes shut for a second before she slowly turned around and finally faced him. Of course, he was wearing a suit, she would expect nothing less - she'd probably be alarmed if he wore something else. The dark blue color suited him, but it's no secret he had impeccable taste.

"Elijah" she greeted him calmly, trying to not show any emotion.

She had noticed he hadn't addressed her yet, something which didn't happen often. She knew he liked her name - _Katerina_ not Katherine - and he preferred to address someone with their name. This time, however, he chose not to do but she knew it had a reason. Elijah never did anything without having a reason. She took a step forward, away from the railing in order to give herself more room. Even though she still made sure there was enough space between them.

"It really is an interesting place with a lot of history, don't you agree?"

She asked him with the slight tilt of her head, watching him attentively while she waited for a reaction.

▬▬ xxx ▬▬

He will probably never be not amazed by her incomparable beauty and for a moment, he was truly immobilized. It seemed like time stood still the moment she decided to turn around. He felt reminded of the first time he had the pleasure to lay his gaze on her beautiful face in 1492. Nothing has changed, her enchanting beauty is still the same, causing him to stop breathing for a moment. The corner of his mouth lifted up into a smile, even though he didn't intend to. Once more he realized the effect she had on him, once more he realized how lucky he had been to be with her and how foolishly he had thrown it away.

There was nothing hateful in her features, nothing scared or fearful when she finally turned around. His gaze immediately landed on her face, looking into her deep brown eyes. If there had been any form of negative feelings towards him, her eyes would have shown them. Katerina is in some aspects like him, she's careful with her feelings. But unlike him, she didn't hesitate to show feelings if she saw so fit. She might fool others with words or even actions, but her eyes mostly held the truth. Some things can not be faked and the warmth in her eyes is one of those things.

It relieved him to some part, knowing that she didn't seem to intend to throw him down the building, that his nightmares didn't seem to come true. He remembered those dreams all too well, her ice-cold stare, her words - everything this dream vision of her had said was true, nevertheless, it hadn't been pleasant.

"How could I ever forget about the days we have spent here?" he questioned softly, now not caring about the tiny smile on his lips.

"It was just a surprise you picked this place out of all possibilities."

Yes, he still hoped there was a meaning behind her choice. He paused for a moment, his gaze never breaking the eye contact, taking in everything of her.

"You look gorgeous." he didn't try to compliment her, even though she'd deserve all the compliments in the world.

His words were a mere statement because she absolutely did look fabulous, healthy. Her skin seemed to glow even more and that's not because of the setting sun. Her hair looked so soft he wanted to touch it, play with one of her thick curls. He was tempted to just reach out for her, pull her close and wrap his arms around her - even if it was for just one last time. Words can not explain how dearly he had missed her, how he had yearned to be reunited with her. Of course, he didn't do it, it would earn him a -deserved- slap and moreover he would never disrespect a woman.

▬▬ xxx ▬▬

She ignored his compliment, being well aware that he meant what he had said. He isn't one to compliment women just like that. But just because she was ignoring it, didn't mean she won't appreciate it. It actually helped her to relax a little bit and her nervousness faded away. _Katherine Pierce is back!_

"I have to admit I wasn't certain you would remember it. It's indisputable a beautiful place, so peaceful and unexpected in a city like New York. But people tend to forget things which are connected to something they consider as foolish if they believe the person with whom those memories are connected to has deceived them."

A swipe? Perhaps. She paused because she knew too well that he felt like a fool for loving her, that he thought she had played him. He hadn't believed her, no matter if he had been afraid of the feelings he had for her or not.

Her words probably made it clear she is still hurt, but there is a different meaning behind them as well. She wanted to forgive him, but she didn't want to show weakness. She doesn't know what had happened in the last four years since the last time she had seen him if he had forgotten about her and just came here out of conscientiousness if he had found someone new. She wanted to make sure he deserved her forgiveness. His reaction to her statement would tell her.

Elijah tore his gaze away and focused his vision on a few tiny red flowers which are gently swaying in the breezes. His siblings often called him foolish, sometimes even pathetic for having hope, for never giving up, for unconditionally caring about the people he holds dear.

And yet that was exactly what he had _not_ done with her. He gave her up, pushed her away, even made her fear him again. He had hurt her. He only saw the worst in her, the woman who would do anything to get what she wants, who manipulates, uses, and deceives. There had been a timespan where he had fallen for the lies, the ones which had been told him and the ones he had told himself. Like a coward, he had not faced the feelings he had for her after he finally had realized that she indeed loved him. He had chosen the easiest way for him, believing it would be better for Katerina but in reality, he just had been afraid, had not considered what his actions would do to her. How can he call himself a man if that's how he deals with problems and difficulties?

He was in fact a foolish man for so many reasons, especially when it came to her. His wrongdoings exceed the fair value of all the good things which he could offer and he once again asked himself, why she had chosen him in the first place. He had failed her multiple times, treated her like an enemy. He was part of the reason why Katerina had been destroyed, why she lived in current fear of a gruesome death. He had broken his promises of wanting to have a future with her, his promise to protect her, never let his family harm her ever again. He failed her in everything.

So yes, calling him foolish, even pathetic is justified. He deserved it and once again he wondered why she wanted to see him when he saw his actions as unforgivable. Of course, he still had hope even though he saw no reason why Katerina should forgive him. _A hopeful fool_ is what Niklaus often called him. And perhaps his brother has been right this time.

"I could never forget it, neither the good nor the bad things," he admitted, making it clear he will never forget anything which had something to do with her.

On the contrary, he clung to those memories. His finger caressed the red blossoms and a deep sigh escaped his lips.

"I fear calling me foolish is only justified and well deserved." he raised his vision, his gaze landing on her face. "I am deeply sorry for everything which has happened. It was not your fault but mine."

His mouth opened again but closed a few moments later when no sound left. He wanted to tell her what a stupid fool he had been, wanted to tell her how much he had missed her, how sorry he was. But he couldn't. It felt like he had lost the ability to speak.

He shook his head, now letting his vision roam over the roof terrace and the beautiful garden. He wanted to, needed to apologize, but he couldn't do it properly if he didn't know how to address her. His gaze returned to Katerina once again.

"May I ask for permission to address you by your given name?"

He asked formally, making it clear he respected her wish to not call her Katerina again. He hadn't had forgotten any of her words, no matter how much time has passed.

His words calmed her down, let her worries fade. Apparently, he hadn't forgotten about her. There's no need to mistrust his words, Elijah is not a liar when it came to something like this. Nevertheless, she expected more, _anything_. But nothing left his mouth and that seemed to surprise him as well. When he asked for her permission to call her Katerina, Katherine raised an eyebrow, always amazed by his choice of words. Civility suits him, she would expect nothing less, even though it came as a surprise he actually remembered her forbiddance to call her Katerina again. A proof he really meant what he said.

Given him the permission to call her Katerina again wasn't difficult, she had already made up her mind. Truth is, she missed him calling her by her birth name. She liked the way he says it, liked the way he put so much warmth and love in it. Nevertheless, she took her time, not allowing him immediately to call her Katerina. Yes, she had already decided that she wants him to call her Katerina again, but he didn't have to know this. She didn't want to look desperate or look like she has waited for him to say it again. He had to earn that privilege and he did so by accepting her wishes of letting her go and not calling her that name again.

"I am not used to be given a choice. Usually, you call me the way you want it," she stated, watching him attentively.

His gaze laid on her, waiting for her to answer his question. She could tell he was interested in getting honest permission.

"I allow you to call me by my birth name, _in private_." it was barely there, but she noticed the tiny, relieved smile on Elijah's lips.

Elijah took it as a good sign Katerina gave her permission. It didn't only relieve him, it also allowed him to apologize properly. An apology can't be taken as seriously if it's not addressed directly to the receiver.

"Katerina"

His tongue curled around her name and he enjoyed the feeling of her name on his tongue. His eyes are on her, looking into her chocolate brown hues.

"Katerina, I fear apologizes won't make up for the pain I have caused."

He had at least ten speeches prepared but now that he needed them, not one of them seems to be fitting. He thinks of himself to be good with words, yet nothing can express his sorrow, his deep regret. Moreover, his thoughts seemed to be swept away. Everything he had prepared was gone, was lost the longer he looked into her eyes.

Suddenly he had the feeling it is probably the best thing that could have happened to him. He would be free to express his true feelings, let his intuition and instincts speak.

"Nonetheless I do want to apologize." at first, he started hesitantly

"I apologize for abandoning you when you needed me, I apologize for betraying you and breaking my word I gave you. I apologize for putting you through so much pain. I apologize for my childish behavior, for not taking the time to hear your side. I apologize for my foolish assumptions, I apologize for not being honest with you. I apologize for my weakness and my blindness, for my ignorance."

He apologized loudly and clearly, making it clear he meant every syllable, every letter. Every word came from the depth of his heart and presented the truth. But he wasn't done yet, his misdeeds are far worse, more wide-ranging.

"I am terribly sorry for the role I had in your story. The regret I hold for the dark doings which were committed against you by my brother will never go away. I apologize for not being able to stop him, I apologize for all the years you had to live in terror. I apologize for my inactivity, for not finding a better way to protect you, to save you. I apologize for my blind loyalty and obedience. I apologize for my silence, I should have never allowed it."

He had never apologized for these things before, at least not that directly. Of course, he had been sorry for all the things which have happened to her, for all the things he and Niklaus had done to her. However, they had both kept quiet about this the last time they were together, an extensive apology never seemed to fit. The relationship between them had developed slowly, it had started as a business-case and a win-win situation for both and had developed into genuine feelings.

But it was long overdue. He owed her an apology - more than one apology. And for once, the calm, stoic Elijah was gone, has vanished, that version was replaced by a compassionate one. Emotions are gathering in him, letting his hands shake in the progress. All the guilt, all his wrongdoings, all the love he holds for her is overpowering him. Tears gather in his eyes and he had to clear his throat before he was able to continue.

A thousand years of never putting himself first, of dedicating every second to his family; a thousand years of hardly letting emotions in, of hardly letting anyone in. Five-hundred years of wondering what it would be like to be given the chance of finding happiness with Katerina, five hundred years of having the knowledge there had been someone who made him feel, care enough. A short time of actual happiness and love. And then he lightly threw everything away because of his mistaken assumptions, because of his own fear. For four years and three months, he had to live with his guilt, with this terrible mistake and the realization that she had indeed truly loved him. Four years and three months with having to endure the longing, the pain which came close to torture because of the increased senses of a vampire, which only made it worse because he was more than just an ordinary vampire. It finally takes its toll.

"I do not deserve your forgiveness, I am beyond far from deserving any part of you." his voice wasn't as loud and clear as it had been before, in fact, his voice is shaky.

"My decisions are not always comprehensible and sometimes I choose the wrong path. I have chosen the wrong path with you. I should have never let you go. I- I love you, Katerina." he didn't break the eye contact, instead, he got lost in her deep brown eyes.

The last time he had admitted his love for her, the last time he said those three words to her was when they had been here, in this penthouse before their ways had separated and Katerina went to search for the cure.

"You made me feel, made me believe in love again. With you I felt so... alive, I could be myself. You made me so vulnerable, you opened my heart and got inside me...you messed me up. But I wouldn't want to give up that feeling you gave me for anything in the world, I- I don't want to lose you again."

A small tear found its way down his cheek, but he couldn't care less. What kind of man can really call himself a man if he is afraid of showing emotions? He is very well aware of the fact he gave her all the power over him right now, a power with the possibility to hurt him like nothing else by admitting his feelings to her. He swallowed, his gaze still focused on her face, on the warm expression.

"Katerina, I am not worth your forgiveness or love, nonetheless I am a selfish man and I hope I will gain it back eventually if you see so fit."

And with those words, he slowly reached out his hand for her, hoping she will take it, give him another chance to make things right.

▬▬ xxx ▬▬

Katherine is shocked by his words, her mouth opened and closed, searching for words. Her heart skipped a beat, even more than just one. Yes, she had a reason when she asked him to meet her, but she hadn't expected this. Elijah admitting a mistake is rare, but Elijah apologizing, showing what he feels deep inside under his calm and controlled exterior is almost impossible.

And it touched her. Touched her deep in her soul. Elijah's love is a pure one, a genuine one. For a vampire, every emotion is heightened, for an Original, it must be almost overwhelming. And yet he decided to confess his love, confess his feelings as well as confess his sins. She knows about the impact, can understand what he must feel like.

"Elijah..." she whispered, tilting her head while never letting him out of her sight.

She had never seen him this vulnerable and he had never been that open before. Her heart ached as she recalled every one of his words.

No one has ever apologized to her before. No one had cared before. Everyone seems to believe she deserved everything which had happened to her, everyone seemed to believe she doesn't care about anyone but herself, that she's not capable of feelings, of love. But Elijah did. He believed she deserved an apology.

They didn't start this century on the best terms, she wouldn't forget the fact he had compelled her to stay in a tomb and threatened to hand her over to Klaus. Today she knows he didn't intend to hand her over to Klaus, he did it because he wanted to punish her for running. Not because she wanted to escape Klaus, no, Elijah did it because he was hurt. He was hurt she hadn't had faith in him and his efforts to find a way to save her.

But despite their differences, he agreed to help her. He chose to listen to her when she asked for his help. She can remember too well how scared she was to make that step. But if one wanted to make a deal with the Mikaelsons, it is the safest option to make a deal with Elijah. They had worked together and eventually developed feelings, which came surprisingly. After all the years she had feared him and Klaus, she had forgotten that she had once thought of Elijah as a very charming, obliging, and attentive man. She had liked to be around him and yes, she had developed a soft spot for him back then. What she hadn't known was the fact Elijah had fallen in love with her as well - it came unexpectedly because he had made it clear that he didn't believe in love, so she had interpreted his attention as an act of kindness. He had said it himself that he took pity on her looking lonely in the castle.

She stepped closer, resisting the urge to caress his cheek. The absolute broken look on his face, his obvious pain triggered something in her, it saddened her. There had been a time where she would have gloated about it out of hurt feelings, but all it caused now was pain.

Katherine didn't know what to say, he had already said more than she had expected, more than she had ever dreamed off. He had admitted his feelings, had declared his love for her.

And it meant something. Actually, it meant _a lot to her_. He gave her a second chance when no one else had. He didn't saw her as the selfish, manipulative, and ice-cold bitch everyone else sees in her, he saw her as a person, someone worth loving. Elijah believed in her, cared for her, and revived something she thought of having lost a long time ago: being able to put faith and trust into a person. She has, not at any point, faked her feelings for him.

That they even came this far is almost impossible. For her, it's not easy to forgive the things he has done and there was a time when she had been so angry at his recent actions that she wanted to see the world burn. But there is a reason why she chose to message him, why she wanted to see him. The reason why she messaged him is that she has made up her mind. It took a lot of time, but she found herself being able to forgive him.

She would say she has had a diversified and fun life in the past four years but eventually it didn't fill the hole anymore. When Elijah left, he left a hole in her heart. She had done everything to ignore it because she didn't want him in her life anymore. She burnt everything she had of him, left the country and the continent, started a new life, tried new things, and enjoyed herself. But eventually, all those things couldn't conceal the fact that she still loves him. She loved him and she hates it because it's so pathetic. She would love to admit this to him, would love to confess her feelings but at the same time she just couldn't do it. Not yet. Not after everything which has happened. She needed time, had to see what the future holds for them. If he finally chooses her or -at least- find a good solution for the situation.

Perhaps it's stupid, but _prevention is better than cure_. Nevertheless, she'll hold his words in her heart, in her memory. It's incredible to know he still chooses her, that he hadn't replaced her like some others would have done. It touched her heart and it touched her soul.

Finally, she raised her hand and took his, his touch sending warm chills all over her body because it felt so good. Even more so, she longed for his touch, wanted to be in his arms. However, now was not the right time, she needed more security to truly enjoy it.

"You might not deserve my forgiveness now, but this time it is me who gives you another chance, the opportunity to re-earn my trust."

Her voice is soft, a whisper. She didn't have to say he was forgiven, he'll know. And he'll also know her forgiveness doesn't mean she'll forget. No, she will never forget what happened. But her forgiveness meant something else: A chance to start new. A chance to prove himself. A chance for happiness.

Elijah smiled at her words, the words which managed to ease his mind, his heart. A second chance, that's all he had hoped for.

His thumb softly and carefully caressed the back of her hand, making sure she wants his touch.

"I promise you, Katerina, I'll prove my worth. As long as you want to have me, I will never leave you again." he is serious with his words.

He will never leave her again. She is the woman who makes him happy, the woman he loves. And perhaps - for the first time - he needs to be a selfish man in order to protect the things which are important to him, and only to him. He knew that loving someone gives them the power to destroy you and trusting them not do. He also knew that Katerina already held that much power over him. It is worth the risk.

The smile on Katerina's lips filled him with happiness and he slowly lifted their hands up to his lips in order to press a soft kiss on the back of her hand just at the moment when the sun kissed the horizon goodbye and delicate fairy lights which covered the pavilion and the entire railing, as well as the ones which covered a part of the giant roof terrace, began to glow.

His eyes never left hers, entirely fascinated by the different shades of brown, as he spoke the following words.

"I love you, Katerina. Always and Forever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This was chapter 9! I hope you've enjoyed it.  
> I hope you liked the Reunion. This is the (temporary) end of this story. I initially had planned to write more chapters on it but then I decided to make a new story, 'In Another Life'. I don't know if I'm going to continue 'The Things We Do' eventually but I think the ending of Chapter 9 is beautiful as well. What do you think?
> 
> This is an old story of mine and the first fanfiction I ever wrote, hence the flaws and the different style of writing as I won't do much editing of the original draft. I'm going to upload the rest in the next few days. I still hope you'll enjoy it

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading the first chapter. Again, it's an old story of mine and the first fanfiction I ever wrote, hence the flaws and the different style of writing. I'm going to upload the rest in the next few days. I still hope you'll enjoy it


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